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Hey kids,

The 91st Annual Academy Awards have come and gone. Just like this years Super Bowl, I was bored and disappointed. Dammit Academy, a host is desperately needed and you just bucked the mummy train on this one.  Did that even make sense? No, well neither did most of this night. I am not going over the whole thing, however a few of the highlights.

While I was really looking forward to Queen opening the show with a guy I had never heard of before named Adam Lambert, it really was a disappointment. Why not just have Rami Malek up there doing his Freddie Mercury imitation? It was lackluster and not a great start to the night.

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Then three of my favorite women, Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and did a very funny yet all too brief routine about how there is not a host. Hello Academy? Why the hell were these three women not the hosts?  Gack!

Melissa McCarthy covered in stuffed bunnies. Why? I have no clue. Hilarious? You betcha! One of the best moments of the night. Melissa McCarthy as the host for the night? Academy? Anyone?

I want to talk a moment about the songs that were nominated for Best Original Song. I had never heard any of them before that night and I have to say they all sucked. Jennifer Hudson was off key and the song sucked. Then there was something from Black Panther that I suppose I must have heard during the closing credits, but it did not resonate and I did not like it. Bette Midler sang something from Mary Poppins Returns, a movie no one asked for, yet people felt the need to bitch and moan that Emily Blunt did not sing it on stage. You want to know why? Because when you can get Bette fucking Midler you take her! (Sir Griffin I have asked you to leave) Then some horrendous cowboy song from something I never heard of before and dear god it was awful. But then…

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The song we (well, not me) had all been waiting for; the one that was the preordained winner from the 1239th remake of A Star is Born; the one that is making me have fun with semicolons; the one performed live by a Trash Panda Space Raccoon Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga; um, I have no idea what it was called, but I hated it. First of all, Cooper has limited singing ability and should not be singing outside of a recording studio. Lady Gaga is great I suppose, but this was the very first time I had ever seen her perform anywhere! I had no idea what to expect and what I got was a “meh” song and what almost amounted to live sex on stage.

What else can I possibly say? The night was not as long as most OScar nights, but felt substantially longer for some reason. Oh yes, no host to move it along!

So just a last few bits of tidying up.

Thank god the borefest Roma did not win Best Picture, bur seriously, Green Book over Black Panther? The Academy plays it too safe once again IMHO.

91st Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

Olivia Colman winning best actress over the overrated Glenn Close (whos showed up in a golden gown, how tacky) was marvelous, but her speech was even better. Bravo Olivia!

Rami Malek absolutely deserved Best Actor. No question about it. He fell off the stage too and was treated by paramedics. Awesome.

OMG the woman from The Punisher (Jaime Ray Newman) just won an Oscar! How cool is that?

91st Annual Academy Awards - ShowSpike Lee finally gets his due. Should have gotten more, but one step at a time I suppose.

Barbra Streisand was there. I don’t even recall why, but it was Barbra and she looked great.

Hey, Trevor Noah was on stage doing something that I have now forgotten and he was hilarious. Plus, that accent! 2020 Oscar Host?

That’s it for now kids. I have a hell of a story to share next time. A hell of a story.

Namaste

 

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Posted by: lylescott89 | February 22, 2019

Well, It is Oscar Time

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Hey kids,

The Oscars are Sunday night and am I excited? Well, not as much as usual and that is a tad bit unfortunate. I love the Oscars and I really need it to be great this year. It’s my second Super Bowl and the first one this month was completely awful. So the Oscars on Sunday must be spectacular. Oh me of little hope.

91st_Academy_AwardsFirst of all I am just annoyed as hell that there is no host. Kevin Hart was initially selected to be the host, but then some old and inappropriate comments and jokes appeared. Suddenly he was under fire and he withdrew. This was clearly the right thing to do as his comments were out of line and distasteful, however, since when is Kevin Hart held to a higher standard than the “grab ’em by the pussy” guy? We have this complete shitbag asshole sending out daily racist tweets and he still keeps his job.

Since we have no Oscar host for the first time since the disastrous 1989 show (if you recall this was the infamous show where actress Eileen Bowman came out dressed as Snow White and sang a duet of Proud Mary with Rob Lowe) This is a debacle of epic proportions and if you were not alive to see it happen live and on stage in 1989 or if you have forgotten how horrendous it really was, here you go. Watch at your own risk.

I am going to do things a bit unconventional this year as well. Follow me if you will. Instead of predicting who I think will win, I am going to pick who should win. For the most part, the winners of this years show are a foregone conclusion and also for the most part, they all are stupid choices.

Let’s take a look at Best Picture for a moment. Admittedly, I have only seen two of them all the way from start to finish; Black Panther and Bohemian Rhapsody. Both are excellent, both were incredibly successful and both are deserving nominees. I would like to see Green Book, but I am not going to make my way to a theater to watch it. I have seen A Star is Born so many fucking times (hey, how did Sir Griffin get here) that I cannot handle one more damned remake of that stupid, annoying and boring-ass film. The Favourite is not the favorite and it looks sleep inducing, but as we will see the Academy has a long history of rewarding sleep inducing films. There is also Vice and BlacKKKlansman; neither of which interests me.

That brings us to the expected winner for the evening: Roma. I dare you to attempt to watch this film. It is utterly boring, stupid and as I mentioned before, sleep inducing. It appears to be a vanity project from director Alfonso Cuaron describing his childhood or something that I really am not interested in learning about. This will win and people will rave about it and in less than a year no one will remember that it even exists. Like I said,  the Academy loves boring, sleep inducing vanity projects. Boring movies that won Best Picture include The Artist, Out of Africa, Chariots of Fire and the coup de gras of boring, The English Patient.

blackpanther

A film that wins Best Picture should be memorable. It should be a movie that you can watch over and over again and still find something in it that leaves you wanting to see it again. If you look back at the history of the Academy, this has not happened often. So this year my selection for Best Picture is Black Panther. It was fun, I could watch it 1000 times and never get bored and it was a visual masterpiece as well.

The expected Best Actress winner is Glenn Close for a film in which I have never seen, never even heard of and have no idea what it is about. Nor do I care. I cannot stand Glenn Close and I have no idea why. There are just some people I look at and go “I do not like that person” and Close is one of them. Remember Fatal Attraction? I still have no idea why Michael Douglas would want to cheat on Anne Archer. In any case, Close is nominated for The Wife I think? I mean, WTF is that? And who the hell has seen it? Let me go to Box Office Mojo and see how many people have seen it.  Hang on. Okay, it has been in theaters for 27 weeks and it has yet to have one person buy a damn ticket. Alright, not quite, but almost.

Close will win because she “is due”. Don’t you get tired of that argument? Someone gets an award because they are due for one? Just give it to the best performance which, in this case, is…I have no idea since I have not seen any of these movies. However, I cannot in good conscience vote for Lady Gaga since she is in that dumb movie nor can I vote for the woman from Roma since it was, you know, Roma. That leaves me with Olivia Colman, who was on a great TV show called Broadchurch with former Doctor Who David Tennant and Melissa McCarthy who is, quite frankly, awesome. Best Actress goes to Melissa McCarthy.

Bohemian Rhapsody
Rami Malek (Freddie Mercury)

Best Actor is apparently going to Christian Bale for Vice which, again, is a movie no one saw. I think Bale could have easily won for his roles as Batman, but he did not. He did win for The Fighter, which no one has seen. We also have Bradley Cooper; a guy I have no interest in unless he is playing a space raccoon. Viggo Mortensen was in Green Book, but he used the n word publicly so he can’t win. Willem Dafoe is a fantastic actor and one day he will be due for his award, but he cannot win for At Eternity’s Gate, which is the story of a man trapped in the middle of a row at the Oscars and desperately needs to go to the bathroom.  Thus, Best Actor will go to what actually was the best performance of the year; Rami Malek in Bohemian Rhapsody. He completely embodied Freddie Mercury and his performance seemed flawless. He truly deserves to win.

As far as the rest go, these are my choices…

Best Supporting actress – Regina King – If Beale Street Could Talk (Which I have never heard of, never seen a trailer for and…hey, if Beale Street could talk maybe it could tell me what the hell this movie is about and who the hell saw it, if anyone)

Best Supporting Actor – Mahershala Ali – The man is the epitome of cool. How can you not vote for him?

Best Director – Spike Lee – BlacKKKlansman – Because his acceptance speech would be awesome.

Best animated Feature – Let me make this clear, I think that Incredibles 2 was the most fun film I saw last year, however, I would actually vote for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse which was also very good. Why you ask? Well, I really enjoyed the animation that was used in the film. I have gotten to the point where I really miss the old hand-drawn animation of the Disney glory days and the style of this film was unique. Plus the story was downright awesome.

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

There you have it kids. And on a side note, if someone could please explain to me why people all over town have giant American flags hanging off the back of their trucks I’d appreciate it. Do they think we don’t know what country they reside in? Do they think they have to prove they are “real” Americans? I don’t get it. I would think the wind resistance would hurt gas mileage.

Enjoy the show.

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | January 17, 2019

52 in 52 for 2019

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“It’s good to remember that other human beings are like us. We are born the same way; we die the same way. While we’re alive it’s better to be able to trust each other as friends. We earn other people’s trust when we show a genuine concern for their well-being.” – Dalai Lama

Hey kids,

I don’t know about you all, but I am damn sick of all the negativity in the world, particularly this country. Since I don’t live in multiple countries I can only go by what others tell me and what they tell me is that the negativity here is much worse than anywhere else.  Case in point: Gillette puts out a commercial (which I did not see until today) and thousands of assholes suddenly think their masculinity is being challenged. If your masculinity is so half assed that a TV commercial for a fucking razor makes you feel weak, then you are indeed part of the problem.  Here it is and all it is basically saying is “don’t be a fucking asshole”.

 

So I decided that in 2019 I would try to be less negative and frankly, I am off to a pretty crappy start thanks to the morons that suddenly are flucking razors down their toi-tois. I have started a project that will take all year and I challenge all of my readers to follow suit. Let’s face it, if you can do those stupid 10 year challenges on Facebook which absolutely no one cares about, you can do this.

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I read the novelization of Dear Evan Hansen, memorized the soundtrack and have purchased tickets to see it on stage at the Straz in April. It was my inspiration for this challenge. I am writing 52 letters in 2019; one for each week of the year for those of you who are calendar deficient. These letters are letters of thanks, encouragement and/or appreciation for 52 different people that have had some sort of positive impact on my life. Of course, there are rules to be followed.

  1. No relatives. The people selected cannot be related to me in any way, shape or form. Not that have have relatives that are shapes or forms per se, but you get the idea.
  2. They must be actual humans. I cannot write a letter to a fictional character so unfortunately unless a real human named Harry Potter once made an impact on my life, no one with that name will be receiving a letter. Frankly Harry got enough letters and I don’t have an owl anyway. In addition I cannot tell French fries and pizza how much I love them. They already know.
  3. I have to have physically met these people and spent a significant amount of time with them. I cannot write to Justin Trudeau and tell him how awesome I think he is because we have never actually met, though I am sure he would like me if we did.
  4. It must be a letter and it must be written in confidence. I don’t plan on sharing what I write with anyone but the addressee and I will ask the same of them. I am going on blind faith here so hopefully all of the concerned parties will keep things confidential. If not, so be it. I will get over it.
  5. There is no set rule that I must do this once a week. I might do two this week, three the following week and then take some time off. Who knows? Just as long as 52 people get a letter by the end of the year.

Why am I doing this? Because whoever I am writing, you need to know that you are important. You need to know that you are loved and you need to know that whatever you have done with your life, you have had a positive and lasting impact on someone else; me. You need to know that you matter. Whatever it is that you are going through right now, it will pass. No matter how hopeless it seems, there is ALWAYS someone who needs you to make it through. Your friends need you. Your family needs you. I need you. I may not have seen or heard from you in 35 years and may not know anything about what you have become, but this world needs you. You are beautiful. You are amazing and you are strong. You are loved more than you could ever know. You are right where you need to be in your life. I am a better person for knowing you and whatever difficulties, if any, you are experiencing right now, you can make it through.

I challenge everyone to give this a try. Believe me it will be much more fulfilling than seeing that you look 10 years older.

Namaste.

Posted by: lylescott89 | November 29, 2018

I’m Just too Damned Tired

November27

Hey kids,

Many of you keep asking when I will begin writing again.  The simple answer is I just do not know. I actually have a lot to say and an awful lot on my mind, but the desire to put it into words on a screen is just not there for me right now.

To put it mildly, I get a bit depressed at this time of the year. That does not excuse the fact that I have not written a damn thing since September, however I can explain that as well. I’m just so sick and tired of the hatred, the bigotry, the lies, the lack of compassion and all of the blatant racism that exists in this country right now. I know I have written ad nauseum about it all, but I just can’t any longer. I’m tired and I simply cannot understand what is happening. If I were to write everything I was thinking about this country and the disgusting monsters that allegedly lead us, I’d never get any sleep.

But to get back to this season I have gotten to the point where it means very little to me and I know that will make many of you sad. It actually makes me sad, but it has been building for years. I used to love it so much, but the commercialism and the “gimme, gimme, gimme” is just too much for me. It makes me so sad to see these migrants struggling to reach the border only to be attacked by tear gas when all they want is a better life. They don’t want to kill us; are seeking asylum. And while that happens we eat our turkey dinner. We shop at 3 AM for gifts that people don’t want and don’t need. We buy things for ourselves because they are on sale for an amazingly low price. Honestly, the whole concept is ridiculous when you actually think about it.

Compassion (1)

A group of people who want nothing more than a place for their children to live without fear of being killed every day (and frankly I am not sure America is that place) walk for miles and miles for hours every day in the heat, in the rain and in the mud for a better life and we greet them with tear gas. Yes, we’ve done it before, but not to 4500+ people seeking asylum, never to this extent and not nearly as brutally. There was no excuse for it then and there is no excuse for it now. These were women and children, not scary villains attacking like storming a castle in the Middle Ages. We decrie other nations for using chemical weapons, but when we do it, it is okay.

I am sick of people claiming to be Christians yet turning their backs on those less fortunate. I am sick and tired of people bitching about saying “Merry Christmas” when at the same time they tell us that no one else should have the “fortune” of being in this country but them. Where is Jesus in their lives? Is he nothing more than a symbol to them? I find it very telling that my friends who identify as Nontheistic, Agnostic or Atheist seem to have a much better grasp of how to treat people different than themselves than so many Christians in this country. I am no biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination, but I do know this passage very, very well:

Matthew 25: 31-46

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Compassion (2)

Seriously, it cannot be more clear than that. If you are claiming to be a Christian and you are supporting this vile administration and its hatred of anyone who is not white, then you are doing it wrong.

So you can see why I am depressed. Holidays that have no meaning other than greed, I live in a country that has become a shithole and all that hate. I decided a while ago (on my hiatus) that I was not going to waste my time with anyone who was not nice. I was not going to waste my time with any person that voted for or continues to support such hatred and violence. It is okay to cut ties with friends and family members if those ties are toxic to your well-being. Just because we’ve known each other for umpteen years does not mean we are still friends. And I am okay with this. I am surrounding myself with people that care and with people that put the needs of others before their own. In other words, I am surrounding myself with love and saying goodbye to the rest. That’s why I have unfriended people on FB that have posted racist things. That is why I will not attend functions when certain people are there. Truth be told as an introvert attending functions of any kind is pure misery, but as the kids say, whatevs.

Compassion (3)

If we are to be a nation of people who have compassion for others, who have empathy for those in need and actually care about someone other than ourselves then we must put aside our irrational fears and do something. We should be at the border with clothes, food, blankets and water for these people. Not tear gas, not guns and not violence. Call me liberal all you damn wan; I wear it as a badge of honor.

I will leave you with this; I don’t know when I will feel like writing on a regular basis so please be patient. I have invited Sir Griffin for a return as he always cheers me up with his foul language and his bluntness.  He is going to let us know what he thinks of the TV season thus far.  I am looking forward to his return.

And with that, I give you my wish list for the holidays. Call it my Hanukkah list or my Christmas list if you wish. Doesn’t matter.

  1. Be kind
  2. Be respectful of others
  3. Share
  4. Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreos 

Namaste

 

 

Posted by: lylescott89 | September 25, 2018

I Believe Her

Hey kids,

I have three stories for you today.  I have changed all of the names.  Please do not ask me for any real names or further details as I will not provide them.

PAM

It was a cold, snowy night and Pam was heading back to her dorm.  It was an unusually quiet night on campus.  Too cold for most kids to be out I guess.  She heard some sounds, but ignored them as she walked a little faster.  Without warning she was knocked over and attacked.  Someone was attacking her and she screamed.  While Pam was a rather petite woman, she was spunky and put up a fight.  She punched, she hit and she hurt him.  She got away.  She left her books on the ground and ran, terrified that he was chasing her.   She returned to her dorm safely.  Campus police were contacted and they filed a report.  Her books were found just where she had left them.  As she could not identify her attacker, there was little campus police could do.

The next morning the news of the attack began to spread like a virus.  I was sitting at breakfast with a group of guys from my dorm and they were laughing and joking.  They said things like “who would attack someone as ugly as Pam?” and they laughed harder.  Instead of sympathy, empathy or compassion, Pam received ridicule.  The RA in my dorm put up a sign up sheet asking for any guys willing to be there for any girls that wanted an escort after dark back to their dorms.  Only a few of us signed up.  I’m sure the sight of me, a six foot tall dork that weighed, at best, 150 lbs., was not the least bit intimidating to any would be attacker, but I signed up anyway.  It should be noted that each and every African-American student in my dorm signed up to help, while most of the privileged white kids chose to stay inside where it was warm.

Did Pam deserve what she had to put up with?  Absolutely not.

Connie

Connie was 17 and she made a really poor choice, but that does not excuse what she endured.  There was no reason a 17 year old girl should have been drinking alcohol at all, let alone at a college party.  I rarely attended parties in college, mostly because I hated them, but I was there for reasons I cannot recall.  I was bored and was sitting on a couch “enjoying” some New Coke and wondering who the hell had such a stupid idea in the first place.  Connie, along with several other high school girls were there and it was awkward.  I was speaking with one of Connie’s friends for a while and she was telling me how she wanted to be a nurse.  I hope she succeeded.  Still, I had to wonder what was going on that made 16 and 17 year old girls this desperate to consume alcohol.  Connie got to the completely loaded point and looked like she was going to throw up.  She flopped on the couch next to me and if I had to do it all over again, I would have picked her up and taken her home or, at the very least, gotten her out of there.  Instead, I just sat there like a lump.  Eventually I got up to get something to eat.  When I returned, Connie had disappeared.   I thought nothing of it.  Not long after that, a guy named Ralph appeared and was getting high fives and applause from the alleged guys.  In Ralph’s words he said “I banged the shit out of her”.  I quietly excused myself and went back to my dorm.  I felt like shit.

I saw Connie.  I was sitting next to Connie.  Connie could not have given her consent for Ralph to take her shoes off, let alone do what he did.  Ralph raped that girl and he got cheered for it.  And Connie?  I saw her once again in passing, but never again on campus.  To my knowledge Ralph never paid the price for what he did to her and wherever Connie is today I hope she is doing well.  I hope Ralph is lying in a gutter somewhere eating shit each morning for breakfast.

Hannah

I had a huge crush on Hannah.  I finally had the nerve to ask her out and to my surprise she said yes.  I got myself dressed up fairly nicely, which was not typical for me, and I went to her home to pick her up.  As was the tradition at the time, she was not ready yet so I received the third degree from her father.  Turns out that he and I had a lot in common and we had a nice talk.  He told me that he thought it was great that I actually came to the door instead of just honking the horn and waiting in the car.  I chuckled because of course I would do that.  I mean, who wouldn’t?

Hannah came out and she looked beautiful.  I could not believe I was getting this opportunity.  We left the house, I opened the car door and we went to dinner.  We had a nice time, but I could tell there was no spark.  She had no interest in me whatsoever.  (This story had a way of playing itself out over and over again)  We went to the movies and I could not decide if I should put my arm around her, so I tried to hold hands.  She was not interested.  We went out for ice cream afterwards and talked some more.  Again, there was nothing there.  As much as I liked this young woman, there was never going to be anything between us and I knew it.

I took her home and walked her to her front door.  With the slightest bit of hope I asked if we could see each other again.  She said that she had a nice time, but was not really interested in a relationship with me.  I said okay, wished her well and said goodnight.  I did not even get a kiss goodnight.

Why do I tell you this story?  Well, because I was 17 and I did not force myself on her or any other woman for that matter.  I did not just start kissing her.  I did not move on her like a bitch.  I did not grab her vagina.  And you know why?  Because I understood something called respect and self control.  So when I see a bunch of republicans telling the country that all boys at 16 or 17 do that, I know they are lying.  When I hear an alleged Christian telling me it’s okay that a man almost raped a woman, because he didn’t finish I am beyond disgusted.  And when I see people I know belittle and degrade women who have damaged by men who just do whatever the fuck they want, well, I have no use for you.

We have a serious problem in this country right now that goes beyond the foul stench from the White House.  We cannot accept sexual harassment of any kind and we cannot have these monsters in control any longer.  One moron said that if we judged every man by what he did to women in his teens then no man would be qualified for the Supreme Court.  Okay, well, I would be eligible, but better yet let’s have an all female court.

 

And now, once final note for the fuckwad that embarrases our nation not only on a daily basis, but at least once an hour.  I know who you really are.

 

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | September 14, 2018

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: CBS

BirthdayPearls

Hey kids,

Today will be Sir Griffin’s final day with us, but not to worry as he has left me a list of some shows he would like to recommend to you on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc.  Plus a few tidbits on returning programs.  As always, he is very excited about the return of another season of Survivor.

Friends, I am a little down today.  I had a bit of a rough night last night, but I spoke with an old friend this morning and her words of encouragement helped me out immensely.  Still, I am not fully back to my full self so please bear with me for today as I give free rein to Sir Griffin.  He can swear as much as he’d like and can insult anyone and everyone.  So let’s get right to it.  Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Griffin Stromboli.

(Applause like you have never heard before)

I am sorry old friend, I know that someone hurt you yesterday and that is not right.  When we were children we were told by our teachers, guidance counselors and parents (well, not my parents, but you get the idea) that we could do anything when we grew up if we just worked hard.  That’s a lie.  We cannot do anything alone.  We need others to help us along the way.  To encourage us and support us.  You need someone to give you a chance.  You need to someone to say to you “hey, we want to take a chance on you so please come work with us”.  You can be the best at whatever you do, but if you are unable to catch that break, then you’re out of luck.  Rah, rah America.

And it’s not just that.  He had recommended I give Buy me a Coffee a try to get some funds for my business.  He did and in about a month or so had already raised over $500.00.  I opened mine up and in a month I have raised $0.00.  A guidance counselor in school once told me I was born with a black cloud over my head.  I have a feeling she was correct.

Okay, I get it and I am sorry.  Let’s put your Buy me a Coffee link here and perhaps someone will help.Buy me a coffeeBuy me a coffee

Sure, one last story that I need to let go.  Back in 2014 I asked someone to help me start my business.  Someone with a lot of capital.  He/she said yes, they would help and was going to to get back to me with the details in a few days.  A few days later I contacted him/her and he/she said not to worry, I was going to get the help I needed.  About a week to 10 days later I was told he/she changed his/her mind.  Too risky for a millionaire.  I was devastated.  About eight months later I was able to take out a small business loan for $15K, of which I have paid half back.  I’m a credit risk?  Money and I have never been particularly close friends.   

Thanks for sharing and completely and utterly depressing us all.

Today we look at CBS which has several new offerings.  I am gong to keep this fairly short today as my thunder buddy stole my thunder.  In addition to the new shows a revival of Murphy Brown will be back on the air and none too soon as far as I am concerned.  Like Will & Grace, it was a brilliant show that was taken off the air way too soon.  Okay, it was one for like 10 years or something, but it was bloody brilliant and I am thrilled it’s coming back to us.  It appears that most of the original cast is returning.  (Two of them, Robert Pastorelli and Pat Corley, have died)  Charles Kimbrough will be back for what appears to be a three episode arc.  The man is 82 for crying out loud.  Our first new show then is

godfriendedme

God Friended Me – I have to say that I already follow God on Twitter and he/she is absolutely fascinating.  I follow his/her kid too.  Here is a sample tweet from god:

So it goes without saying that it is entirely possible for the almighty to have a Facebook or an Arsebook account too.  That said, do I really want to watch this?  Seriously, we have had so many of these divine shows over the years and not one of them featured Divine.  Yes, Divine died a long time ago, but that never stopped Bernie or that old guy on the Weather Channel that died in 1992 and they kept him on the air until 2004 because they forgot to tell him.  You can guess what the show is about.  God friends a guy, guy saves people.  Miracles!  Smokey Robinson and the…Yes, Miracles!  Okay, I am getting silly.  I’m not watching this.  Chances of me watching?  What did I just say? (Premieres September 30th)

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The Neighborhood – Cedric the Entertainer (See how that works? Cedric is entertaining, thus the name fits him well) stars as a guy that has the worst neighbors move in next to him; white people.  And not just any white people, really nice white people that are, quite frankly, annoying as hell.  Cedric doesn’t like them at all and neither did I.  If this show were about Cedric and his family I think it would be funny, but with Max Greenfield?  Um, no.  I will say that Beth Behrs is in it as well and astute readers know that I adore her and think she has sexy legs, but is that enough to make me watch?  It feels like a one joke show and I heard the joke in the preview.  Chances of me watching?  Actually about 20% or 10% per leg.  (Premieres October 1st)

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Happy Together – Imagine me and you, I do I think about you day and night It’s only right To think about the girl you love And hold her tight So happy together…What?  This is not a song about 60’s pop band The Turtles?  Damn it!  This is an incredibly unfunny, on-joke show about a wealthy pop star that is not The Turtles.  No, his name is Cooper James and he moves in with his accountant and his wife or something along those lines.  Damon Wayans, Jr. was great on a fantastic show called Happy Endings (two happy shows for one guy?) that was canceled way too soon.  Unfortunately the reason he was so good on that show was because it was an ensemble.  This Happy show is not and he is out front and doing his thing.  A little Damon Wayans, Jr. goes a long way and it’s way too much.  Plus, it’s stupid.  What wealthy pop star is going to move in with his accountant?  Ridiculous.  Chances of me watching?  Seriously about 5% because I absolutely adore Amber Stevens West.  (Premieres October 1st)

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Magnum P.I. – This is obviously a remake of the show with the same name that ran from 1980 – 1988.  Do you know that I have seen exactly one episode of the original show all the way through?  I have seen bits and pieces of episodes, but only once in my life did I sit and watch one entire episode and that’s because I was sick in bed and most TV’s did not have remotes back then.  Mine was one that did not.   Anyway if you were around in the 80’s you know this is the story of a urologist that solves crime in Hawaii.  What?  Sorry?  My apologies, I was thinking of a similar show called Magnum P.   No, this is about a private investigator living in Hawaii and I am guessing still in the home of the unseen Robin Masters, though I really do not know.  It co-stars another Happy Endings alum, Zachary Knighton, which really does not mean a thing other than I miss that show.  Anyway this was not the kind of thing I would have watched in the 80’s, but I am old now and it is required viewing.  Chances of me watching?  I’m old and I love Hawaii!  (Premieres September 24th)

fbi

FBI – If I seriously have to tell you what this show is about, then you have more problems than I can deal with right now.  It looks pretty good and was created by Dick Wolf, who was the guy behind the Law & Order franchise.  I liked Missy Peregrym on Reaper back in the day, so I will give the show a try.  Plus, I am old and it is required.  Chances of me watching?  95%. Okay, 100%.  (Premieres September 25th)

And that’s it kids.  I am flying back to merry old England in the morning.  We don’t burn perfectly good shoes there like you Americans.  Plus, this whole driving on the wrong side of the road drives me batty.

Thank you once again Sir Griffin.  Until next falls shows are ready to preview…

Namaste

 

Posted by: lylescott89 | September 13, 2018

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: Fox

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Hey kids,

Well here we are towards the end of the preview with just two networks to go.  Sir Griffin has promised me two things today:

  1. He will be brief
  2. There will be no profanity as Brits do not swear on Thursdays

I cannot say that I trust in either of those promises, but I will let him have the floor yet again.  Take it away Sir Griffin.

Thank you Albert.  And I am just fine, thank you for asking.  I was thinking about how much you Americans love your Facebook.

Yes, it is quite the popular thing.  Don’t you Brits have it as well?

We do, however, we tend to utilize the much more popular Arsebook.

Arsebook?

Yes, Arsebook.  It is the same basic concept, but much more private and much more secure.  You see, no faces are allowed.  The only profile photo allowed is a photo of your arse.

Uh, doesn’t that make it difficult to recognize anyone?

You’d be surprised.  Would you like to see mine?

NO!

Very well then, on with the show.  Fox has a mere two offerings this fall, both of which are comedies.  They have also resurrected a piece of garbage.  For some reason, some bonehead decided it would be a good idea to bring back one of the most unwatchable, unfunny, ridiculously stupid and borderline offensive shows on TV.  I speak of that crap pile known as Last Man Standing.  It was mercifully killed by ABC and off the air for a full year and for who knows what reason, some idiot with a finger up his butt decided, hey, we need a show that is awful and that appeals to the lowest common denominator of TV viewer.  Thus the return of the shit show.

Hey!  It’s Thursday!

I lied.  Moving on…

I’ll start with the one of the two shows that I have already seen.

relfox

Rel – This comedy stars comedian Lil Rel Howery, who may be best known as the TSA guy in Get Out, as a successful man living in Chicago trying to rebuild his life after a divorce.  His wife, now ex-wife, had an affair with is barber which left Rel not only without a wife, but sadly, without a barber as well.  The show also stars Sinbad (whom I know you met back in the 80’s, isn’t that correct, Walter?) as Rel’s father.

Yes, that is true.  My brush with greatness.  As I recall he kept calling me John.

The show also stars a beautiful woman named Jess Hilarious, which I found fascinating because she actually was hilarious!  I love it when someone gives themselves a nickname that actually is true.  I mean, is Larry the Cable Guy really a cable guy or just a completely unfunny and shitty comedian?

Again, I must warn you with peace & love, though you are doing better.

In any case I did find the show to be humorous and I liked the cast very much.  I mean, Lil Rel was my favorite character in Get Out so he should have his own show.  Still, I am a tad bit apprehensive of any comedy that fox shoves in with their crappy Sunday night cartoons.  Chances of me watching?  75% (Premiered September 9th)

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The Cool Kids – From the people that brought you the tremendously unfunny It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, comes a show that kind of looks funny.  Set in a retirement community, this show brings the marvelous Vicki Lawrence back to TV.  Basically it’s the story of three old guys who are the big dogs in a retirement community.  Suddenly Vicki shows up and throws everyone off kilter.  Since I am an old person (and frankly, none of these cast member are really that old; Okay, maybe Martin Mull) I enjoy the old people humor.  I also love Vicki Lawrence and Leslie Jordan so having them together in a show is almost perfect.  Plus the idea of all of them getting into trouble and doing dumb things intrigues me.  I definitely want to give this a try and I desperately want this show to be good and damned funny.  Chances of me watching at least the first three episodes?  100%.  After that?  We shall see.  (Premieres September 28th)

Another great big thank you goes to Sir Griffin who seems to be headed off to the bathroom.  Geez, he wasn’t kidding about this “being old” thing.  We will finish tomorrow with a look at CBS.  Until then kids…

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | September 12, 2018

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: ABC

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Hey kids,

Before we begin I have to make note of something.  Several readers mentioned to me that neither I nor Sir Griffin made any commentary yesterday on the 9/11 anniversary.  This was intentional on my part.  While I understand the whole concept of never forget and such, it simply is one of the things I do not want to remember, but I will obviously never forget.  I do not want to see videos of the day ever again.  I do not want to read stories of victims or survivors ever again.  I don’t want to hear the last words of people before they were murdered ever again.  That is not what I want.  It is extremely important to remember that we all grieve in different ways and what is best for you, may not work for me.  I stayed away from social media yesterday.  I avoided live TV for the most part yesterday.  If it were possible to have certain memories removed from my brain, like in that horribly boring Jim Carrey movie, I would do it.  Again, we all grieve differently and I hope that you can respect that.

So imagine my surprise this morning when in my inbox was an item from an old friend of Sir Griffin, Trevor Noah.  I watched in horror as the story progressed about the big orange wanker with tiny hands and shit for brains seemingly celebrating 7/11 9/11 and how great he thinks he is.  Please watch and if anyone can explain to me how it is humanly possible to support this shitbag…well, you can’t.  He’s completely indefensible and you are (and I do not say this lightly as I have said it a thousand times) a fucking idiot if you do support this monster.  Please watch

Thank you for watching and if you support that wanker, well, may god have mercy on your soul.  And now, Sir Griffin Stromboli, watching his language, on the shows of ABC.

(Applause)

Thank you Steve and thank you Trevor.  I met Trevor many years ago in South Africa and I have to say that he is as nice in person as he is on the telly.  So, what is happening over at ABC?  Well, not much that is really positive I will tell you that.

First of all, I am not going to review The Conners.  While technically it is considered a spin off of Roseanne, it really is not a new show.  All they have done is gotten rid of the vile, disgusting pig known as Roseanne by killing her off and are now following the family without her.  Does anyone remember a show on NBC years ago called Valerie?  It first aired in 1986 and starred the wonderful Valerie Harper and after two seasons as the star of the show, she was fired after a contract dispute.  They killed off her character in a car accident, replaced her with Sandy Duncan, retitled the show as “Valerie’s Family”, later retitled it as “The Hogan Family” and still later retitled it as “Oh my gosh who the fuck is watching this shitty show”.

Um, Sir Griffin?  Please?

Sigh.  Sorry Marv.  It was a mess, but it was still the same damn show.  The Conners is still the same damn show, but without a racist in the lead role.  I didn’t watch it then and I am not going to watch it now.  So there!

Nor am I going to review The Alec Baldwin Show because it actually premiered this past March as Sundays with Alec Baldwin and because it’s just a talk show.  I do not want to watch talk shows and I do not respect the fact that they are in prime time.  So despite the fact that Alec is a fine actor, I just don’t care.  I am not going to watch it and that’s all you need to know.   If you want to watch it, more power to you.  So are there any real shows?  Yes indeedy!  Do they all suck?  No, but most of them do.

thekidsarealright

The Kids are Alright – No, this is not a TV version of the movie about The Who.  That might have been interesting.  Probably not, but it certainly would have been preferable to this.  Kids stars the marvelous Mary McCormack, completely wasted here in the role of Peggy Cleary, the matriarch of an Irish Catholic family in LA circa 1973.  She has eight children, all boys, so cue the macho, tough guy, Vietnam era laughter now.  Her husband is played by Michael Cudlitz, better known as Abraham on The Walking Dead, but with his head still intact.  Doubtful he will utter the line “suck my nuts” on this show, but if he did maybe some laughter would occur.  I watched the preview and all I could think of was that it was kind of like Malcolm in the Middle, but with more kids and substantially less funny.  Chances of me watching?  About the same as me surviving a zombie apocalypse.  (Premieres October 16th)

singleparents

Single Parents –  Another painfully unfunny preview led me to give the thumbs down on this mess.  The stars of the show are supposed to be Taran Killam and Leighton Meester, but the whole thing seems to be dominated by Brad Garrett and not just because he is eight feet tall.  Essentially this is a comedy about a group of…wat for it…Single Parents!  Killam plays Will, a man who has lost all sight of anything other than his own child and his duties (Tee hee, I said doody) to the PTA.

Ahem!  

Sorry.  Anyway, they try to get him to date and be more manly and have less princess parties and yada, yada, fucking, yada.  (Stop it!) Snore!  I actually like the cast of this show, especially Meester.  It may surprise me, but I doubt it.  Odds of me watching?  About 10% just because Leighton Meester is pretty and she’s from Fort Worth.  (Premieres September 26th)

therookie

The Rookie –  This new police drama stars Nathan Fillion.  I really should not have to say one more thing because just saying Nathan Fillion should make any human automatically tune in.  I love Nathan Fillion.  I would have Nathan Fillion’s baby if it were physically possible.  Actually, over in the UK we are actually working on a process in which any man can conceive and deliver Nathan Fillion’s baby.   It has almost been perfected.  Unfortunately, this was the first attempt:

uglybaby

They’re working on it.  I promise, it will get better.  Nonetheless, Nathan Fillion stars as a 40 year old guy who moves to LA to follow his dreams of becoming a police officer.  Apparently he’s gone through a divorce or something like that and he needs a new and exciting vacation.  Naturally, he is ridiculed, but he perseveres and becomes SuperCop!  No, he becomes  a good officer that works hard and gets tired easily and likely needs to stop to go to the loo quite often.  I watched Castle all the way to the bitter end even though the show was completely out of ideas by the final season.  I’ll be watching this as long as Nathan Fillion wants me to watch.  Chances of me watching?  I love Nathan Fillion!  (Premieres October 16th)

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Dancing with the Stars: Juniors –  No. NO!  Just no.  No fucking way.  No.  No, no, no!  NO!  I will not review it in a house, I will not watch it in a house, I will not talk about it anymore.  I hope that the people that watch this shit have to clean a floor.  I am horrible at rhymes.  Chance of me watching?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  (Premieres October 7th)

million

A Million Little Things – The story of a group of friends whose lives are intertwined when a giant ball of twine wraps them all together.  No, that would be more interesting.  These friends are all happy and carefree and living life like a bunch of drunken Arsenal fans (British humor) when one of them suddenly dies.  Which one?  I think it’s the third from the left which makes me wonder why this guy (Ron Livingston) is in the cast still, but I suppose we will see him in flashbacks.  Livingston plays Jon Dixon, a successful businessman who commits suicide and then we have to listen to the survivor whine about how they miss him or what they could have done differently or whatever.  I suppose his suicide is the impetus for them to start living better lives, but seriously, why couldn’t they have done that before the guy killed himself and maybe he would still be on the show.  Look, suicide is a horrible thing and I am not making light of it.  13 Reasons Why is on Netflix and it is a fucking brilliant show.  (SIR GRIFFIN!) It has taken heat for glorifying suicide and that, I simply did not see as watched the two seasons.  That show seems to treat it much more seriously than this show does, at least from the trailers and previews I have seen.  A Million Little Things seems a little overly dramatic and almost melodramatic.  It also seems depressing as fuckbeans.  (I don’t know whether to scold you or ask you what that is, so I am just going to ignore it) In any case, I don’t want to watch it.  Chances of me watching?  About the same as Billie Joe McAllister not jumping off the Tallahatchie Bridge.  (Premieres September 26th)

So there you have it kids, ABC in a nutshell.  (Help me, I am ABC and I am trapped in a nutshell)

Namaste

 

 

 

Posted by: lylescott89 | September 11, 2018

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: The CW

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Hey kids,

Sir Griffin is back for his second installment, this time looking at the fall offerings from The CW.  Now, as we all know, The CW stands for The Crazy Wackadoodle Network since their shows are often on the odder side of wonky.  Still, they have had some fine programming in the past and I am sure Sir Griffin is ready to tell us all about the new shows without being profane.  Isn’t that correct Sir Griffin?

Yes Claude, that sure the fuck is correct.

Damn you Sir Griffin!  Please proceed…cautiously.

I decided to go with The CW today for a couple of reasons; neither of which I can remember at this time.  No, one is because I don’t watch much of anything on The CW at all and two, because we once again have only three shows to think about.

Speaking of The CW shows I do watch, I absolutely love Riverdale.  Yes, I am secretly a 17 year old girl.  But seriously the show is just darn fun.  It’s a hot mess at times and often makes no sense, however all I need to tell you is this; Betty, Veronica, Josie and Cheryl. Right there you have me hooked, but the show is marvelous and silly fun.  The other show I watch is iZombie.  Now, iZombie was really good for the first few seasons, but this past season was frankly, not impressive in the least.  I liked the show a lot better when no one really had any clue about zombies, but now that everyone knows and Seattle is isolated, it’s just not the same.  Still, I have invested this much time and I want to see how it ends so I continue to watch.  So what will be new this season?  Let’s take a look.

allamerican

All American – I have to say I love your American football.  The NFL is fun to watch and I have enjoyed your college football as well.  I was watching the Chicago Bears play the Green Bay Packers the other night and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Oddly enough I saw a commercial during the game (I forget what the hell it was for) where these women (and maybe a guy, who knows) were on their knees kissing bricks.  What the fuck ladies?

Okay Sir Griffin, you have been doing so well.  Please keep it clean and get off your tangent and talk about the show.

My apologies Timmy.  You all have very odd traditions.  In any case I was not at all impressed with this show.  A few years ago there was a show about the first female MLB player and I was very excited to watch, but it sucked.  There was once a critically acclaimed show about high school football called Friday Night Lights that bored me to tears.  I thought it was shitty.  (Watch it!)  This show appears to be about a very talented and arrogant high school football player that leaves his own school to go play at a school in Beverly Hills.  Why exactly?  Well I suppose because they can recruit and also because it’s allegedly a safer place, but what about the players left behind?  Don’t they deserve a safer place to play?  What is the coach at Beverly Hills saying exactly?  Come here and play in a safe environment and your old teammates can go fuck themselves.

Stop it, stop it, stop it now.  I think you have missed the whole concept of keeping it clean.  Please continue.

So the guy goes to the school with the most beautiful high school students in the history of high schools.  I understand that Riverdale is filled with good looking kids and so is 13 Reasons Why, for the most part, but the average high school is not like this at all.  I went to high school and at best, 10% of the student population was attractive.  (No offense Sheffield Academy of Whales, and yes, I spelled that correctly) In this show 100% of the students are beautiful and all of the parents appear beautiful as well.  My friend’s parents were not good looking in the least (no offense)  This show does not look like anything special and not worth my time.  Chances of me watching?  About the same as me becoming an all American in any sport.  (Premieres October 10th)

legacies

Legacies – This show is a spinoff of The Originals, which I have never seen.  The Originals was itself a spinoff of The Vampire Diaries, which I have also never seen.  So what exactly is this show about?  Well there is some shit about this girl named Hope who is the tribrid daughter of some dumbfuck couple which means she is part werewolf, witch and vampire.  Oh who the fuck gets drunk off their ass and thinks up shit like this?

SIR GRIFFIN!  I am warning you for the final time today.  BEHAVE!

Sorry Leonard, but I am so damned sick of vampires I could milk a cow, feed some chickens and slop a damned pig whatever the hell that means.  Oh dear god farm work?  This TV show is making me do farm work?  Egads?  No fucking way in Tunisia am I watching this side of beefshit.  (Premieres October 25th)

Dear readers, please, please, please forgive me and Sir Griffin for his outburst.  I know he is horribly upset when he threatens to do some sort of farm work.  Sir Griffin has never actually been on a farm before and he has no idea what he is talking about when it comes to combines, herbicides or cows.  Not that he mentioned combines or herbicides, but I have no idea what the hell those things are either, but I have heard of them.  And please Sir Griffin, the final program…

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Charmed – This is a reboot of the WB series of the same name that ran from 1998 – 2006.  I was not a regular viewer of that show, but I did watch it occasionally.  Based on the previews I have seen this is basically the same concept; the three sisters find out they are “the charmed ones” and with that they have the “power of three” and I am just loving using quotes so I am going to do that randomly as opposed to swearing “goddamnit”.  Anyway, they use the “powers of three” in order to vanquish “supernatural demons”.  The show has gotten a tad bit of backlash, specifically from “Holly Marie Combs” who was an “original” cast member from the “original” show.  Non-original cast member “Rose McGowan” was positive towards the reboot as was original “cast member” Shannen Doherty, though “Doherty” did take some issue with the CW referring to “it” as a feminist “reboot”.  In any case, the “preview” was fairly entertaining and I liked “the” cast.  I “may” give it a “try” if for no other reason than to piss off Holly “Marie” Combs.  Chances of me watching?  About 50%.  (Premieres October 14th, which we all know as the greatest day “of” the entire “year”)

Back to you Franklin!

Thank you Sir Griffin.  We will be back again with more.  Thanks for reading!

Namaste

 

 

Posted by: lylescott89 | September 10, 2018

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: NBC

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Hey kids,

Please join me in welcoming back our good friend, Sir Griffin Stromboli.  Sir Griffin has flown in all the way from England to once again enthrall us with his insights and thoughts on the upcoming Fall TV Season.  Now, before I hand over the reins allow me to set the ground rules for our guest.  I have, as always, asked Sir Griffin to keep his profanity to a minimum.  While this blog does have its share of vulgar language at times, the TV preview is not the place for that.  We like to reserve the vulgar language when we speak of social injustice as well as fat orange people with tiny hands and his supporters.  Next, we will stick with only the main networks.  ABC, CBS and NBC are the gimmes and we include FOX and the CW as well since they are technically networks.  Cable channels, Netflix and Hulu programs, though often superior, are not permitted. So, with all that in mind allow me to introduce to you all, direct from London, the Bard of Bardmoor, Sir Griffin Stromboli.

(Generous applause and some laughter)

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  My dear friend Pedro it is so nice to be back in America, where it really is not that great.

Excuse me Sir Griffin, but my name is not Pedro.

Oh, sorry old chap.  It’s nice to see you again Troy.

Um, never mind.  So, Sir Griffin I understand that you were part of the big protests that happened in Merry Olde England this past summer when the Orange Wanker came to town.

Yes indeed, Leonard, I certainly was.  I even brought a picture of myself to show all of your my adoring fans.

That is wonderful.  I don’t think many of our readers have ever seen you before so please show us the photo.

Alrighty then Olaf, take a look right here.

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Wow, nice shirt Sir Griffin!

Thanks chap!  And now, let us begin…

I am starting with NBC this year.  As we all know I generally prefer to go alphabetically or at least somewhat close to that, but NBC only has three new shows this fall and two of them look good while the third looks like a huge pile of shit covered in fuck mustard.

Please Sir Griffin, I have asked you to keep your language clean.  And fuck mustard is not even a thing.

Well, not in America.  And once again we begin.

Manifest - Season 1

Manifest – I have always been a big fan of weird shit on TV and movies. (Sir Griffin!)  I enjoyed Lost, I was always a big Twilight Zone fan and anything that involves bizarre and essentially impossible things will always pique my interest.  Manifest is a drama about Montega Flight 828.  For the 191 passengers and crew, only a few hours have passed since they they left Jamaica.  For the rest of the world it has been five and a half years.  No one on the flight has aged a day.  No one will be the least bit happy to find out that their home country has been taken over by white supremacists, liars, cheaters, misogynists, assholes and a giant orange fuckwad.  (I’ll allow it) Also, no one will believe that the Cubs won the World Series.   In any case, I have seen the first 15 minutes or so of this show and I was completely enthralled.  The show stars Melissa Roxburgh as Michaela Beth Stone and Josh Dallas as her brother Ben.  There are kids involved, old people, young people, police, etc.  Something is going on and this show will likely drive some people nuts.  The people that can’t handle waiting for a mystery to play itself out.  It looks great.  Chances of me watching?  100% (Premieres September 24th)

NBC-I-Feel-Bad

I Feel Bad – From executive producer Amy Poehler, I Feel Bad is a comedy about Emet; a wife, mother and career woman who feels bad about, well just about everything as far as I could tell.  I love a good comedy and I adore Amy Poehler so if she’s got her hands on a project, I am in.  Sarayu Rao, aka Sarayu Blue, plays Emet.  If you think you have seen her in something before, you probably have.  She has had guest roles in shows such as The Big Bang Theory, Bones, The Real O’Neals to name a few and she was a main character on the short lived series, No Tomorrow.  Actually she was by far the most interesting character on that show.  So yes, I like her and I find the premise of this show highly amusing.  Even though I am not a woman, I have been told many times that I am quite effeminate and I don’t mind that.  Heck, I cried at the end of Crazy Rich Asians and I am pretty sure if I saw it a second time, I would cry again.  Damn that was a good movie.  (Please stay on point Sir Griffin)  Oh, sorry.  My point is that I can completely relate to Emet.  Life is not perfect, but you want it to be and you try to make it prefect and you just fuck things up over and over again.

(Sir Griffin, I am warning you with Peace and Love…STOP IT!)

My bad.  In any case the show looks damn funny and I am going to laugh every time she can’t stand the sight of her kids and know that I can totally relate when I have to see Lady Sophia Lasagna and Lord Henry Cannoli.  Chances of me watching?  100%.  (Premieres September 19th)

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New Amsterdam – Back in 2008, a show premiered on Fox with this same title.  It was about an immortal Dutch guy named John Amsterdam living (obviously) and working in NYC as a homicide detective.  It lasted all of eight episodes which was seven too many.  Now comes a medical show with the same title that we can only hope sees a similar fate.  Now, we must clarify once again that I despise medical shows.  I hate them with a passion.  I hate the blood, I hate the phony doctor shit.  (HEY!)  MASH was fine, but that’s it.  And no I am not going to take the time to put the little asterisks in.  I am lucky I have spell check so I can spell asterisk.  This show looks like schlock and mush on the highest of levels.  It stars Ryan Eggold (The Blacklist) as an immortal Dutch Doctor named John Amsterdam curing patients with magic spells and touching them with his wand.  Okay, that’s a lie because I would actually watch that show.  He is actually Dr. Max Goodwin, a phony name if I ever heard one, and follows his comic misadventures as he becomes the medical director of a hospital run entirely by squirrels.  Okay, that’s not true either because I would watch a show about a Squirrel Hospital.  He is the medical director of one of the oldest public hospitals in the country and he wants to reform their practices and make people healthy and do things differently and save the world one patient at a time.  Now, I am all for universal healthcare in your country.  If you guys would just try it, you’d fucking love it.  (Sir Griff…I’ll allow it)  But here we have a show about a doctor who has ideals beyond what anyone else has ever thought of before and though he will have trials along the way, he will succeed.  OMG I can hear the violin music playing now.  Chances of me watching this shit filled festival of fart bottom hospital crap that does not include squirrels or immortal Dutch guys?  Zero Point Zero.  (Premieres September 25th.)

Dang it Sir Griffin that is enough.  If you keep up the foul language this week I will have no choice but to make you the official at Serena Williams’ next tennis match.

No, not that!  I will behave Clarence, I will behave.

Namaste

 

 

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