Posted by: lylescott89 | September 18, 2017

134 Hours

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Hey kids,

Like many Floridians, I was affected by Hurricane Irma.  It was a week I will never forget, but really would like to.  The storm itself was not much more than a tropical storm when it got to us.  We had no damage to our home, however there were a lot of trees down in the area and plenty of debris all over the place.  What really sucked was being out of power from Sunday night until the following Saturday afternoon.  I know a lot of people south of me had it much worse, but it still drove me crazy.  In case you did not know, it is fricking hot in Florida and it gets hotter and more humid every damn year.  Thanks a lot climate change!  (It’s real and if you don’t believe it Sir Griffin has a message for you: Go fuck yourself) No a/c really, really, really sucks.

But you know what really drove me nuts?  The lead up to the storm.  People panicked. I saw people standing out in the rain waiting for Publix to open at 7 AM so they could get water.  I mentioned this before but it bears repeating; am I the only one with a water faucet in my house?  Lines at gas stations were insane all week.  On Friday I was driving home after taking Adam to see It (super scary and very well done) and there were lines at just about every gas station we passed.  However there was one with just two people filling up.  I had half a tank, but I stopped and filled up because that apparently is what you are supposed to do while prepping for a storm.

ashley-mk-2Then there was the local media.  They went overboard as usual with wall to wall coverage while essentially saying the same thing over and over again.  I turned on the TV Saturday afternoon hoping to see the TCU/Arkansas game (I ended up watching it online) and saw several weather forecasters standing around trying to think of something to say. We get it.  There is a storm coming.  Most of us know what to do and realize it is serious. Yet we have endless stories from idiots standing in the rain and wind telling us not to go outside in the rain and the wind.  Okay genius.  Do you really think we won’t get the idea if you are in a studio and show us a camera feed from outside?  I hate seeing these morons driving around telling us we should not do what they are doing.  Drives me insane.  Yes, it gives me agita.

That said, I did discover my new favorite meteorologist, Ashley Batey on channel 10. Donna said that I was infatuated with her because she never saw me watch the weather that much in my life.  She’s right.  Ashley if you are reading this please contact me to set up a photo session.  It would be an honor to work with you.  Plus, I have always thought that Ashley and I would be great friends.  Incidentally I have also always thought the same thing about Minnie Driver.  If she ever met me she would most definitely want to start a friendship.  Just like Ashley.

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But we made it through and the power is back on and the a/c is amazing. Unfortunately #BaconWednesday was canceled last week and that sucked.  However it will be back in full force this week.

Of course you can add hurricanes to the long list of reasons why I want to leave Florida. I still need to get that blog written.  I was going to do it last week, but the lack of power was a bit of a hindrance.

Oh and happy National Cheeseburger Day.  Guess what I am having for dinner?

Namaste

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Posted by: lylescott89 | September 6, 2017

Welcome Back NFL

newpearlsHey kids,

Right now people are going bonkers as Hurricane Irma approaches.  The roads are crazy. I foolishly went on Facebook and all I saw was panic.  I need to stay off of that thing. Anyway I am not interested in worrying about it.  I cannot stop it nor can I control the weather so why waste time worrying?  Yes, I am a liberal and no matter what slimeballs like Rush say, I cannot control the weather. If I could this hurricane would take a direct hit to Mar-a-Lago and flatten that son of a bitch to the ground. There would be no other damage.  Well, maybe it would destroy Fox “News” too.  But I am not going bonkers though perhaps I should since it appears to be the thing to do.  I have water that comes out of the faucet, I always fill my gas tank when it gets to the halfway mark and I am thinking about the NFL.

Yes the NFL season is upon us once again.  And once again the New England Patriots are the favorite to win it all.  Eventually Tom Brady will get too damn old to play and Bill Belichick will get too damn old to coach and other teams will become favorites, but for now this is what we have and this is what we will deal with.

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Not that I hate the Patriots.  I am completely indifferent to them.  I hate the Steelers. I hate the Bills.  I don’t like the Bears or the Jets, but I just don’t care about the Pats. I’m funny that way I guess.

Before I get too much further I do want to comment on the Bucs/Dolphins game getting moved to the Bye Week in November.  Yes I realize this is an inconvenience for the players, but let’s look at reality here.  The game cannot be played with a monster storm bearing down on South Florida.  The Dolphins do not want to lose a home game and have it at a neutral site.  I know the players now do not want to play 16 weeks in a row, despite the fact that the NFL used to play 16 weeks in a row until the Bye Week was introduced in the 1990 season.  I gather that the current crop of NFL players are not aware of this fact.  So be angry, tweet stupid stuff, but get over it.  You will live. Some people in the storm’s path will not be so lucky.

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Okay, now you all want my trusty, almost always incorrect Super Bowl prediction.  It’s boring, but I predict a Seahawks/Patriots Super Bowl.  Sure, it could be the Packers. Maybe the Cowboys or even the Buccaneers could make it.  Perhaps the Chiefs will get over that hump this year.  What about the Browns.  OMG I just made myself laugh! Maybe we’ll get something new and interesting.  But my psychic mind sees it another way.  Sorry kids.

So please stay safe during the storm.  Evacuate if you must and remember that if you have indoor plumbing you can fill jugs with water.  Heck, you can use a hose too.  Oh, and go Bucs!

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 31, 2017

Message of Hate

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Hey kids,

I have so many things I have been trying to write about lately including my happiness project, the upcoming NFL season, my thoughts about when people go batshit crazy anytime Disney closes an attraction and my desire to leave Florida and live somewhere more progressive, liberal and substantially less hot & humid.  But as usual those will all have to wait because of of some really stupid people that came up with the Nashville Statement.

If you agree with the Nashville Statement you might as well stop reading now because I may use big words that a feeble minded person like yourself would have difficulty understanding.  These so-called Christians released what was essentially a message of hatred, ignorance and decidedly non-Christian values.  In other words Jesus would like to slap the shit out of you, but since he’s a pacifist he can’t.

For those of you that have not read this disgusting, vomit inducing manifesto I would recommend that you do not and instead read the following plain language translation that was written by a man I really admire, John Pavlovitz.  This was written on his bog and I will provide a link right here so you can go and read it.  Please read it and then come back.  I’ll wait.

Hum de dum, hum de dum, dum dum.  Whistle while you work.  Wait, did I leave the iron on?  

Are you back from reading that?  Oh good.  I hope you enjoyed it.  The people that came up with this garbage are not Christians.  As I understand it, the teachings of Jesus were about love, acceptance and compassion.  These idiots would not know love or compassion if it bit them on the ass.  And I hope that it does.

DIcAfE6XoAEe0yUIt’s fairly safe to say that these shitheads are the same fools that voted for Drumpf.  There is no possible way you can reconcile Christianity with a vote for a serial adulterer.  It says right there in their manifesto that the are against cheating on your spouse.  I happen to agree with that one, but once you have hitched your wagon to Drumpf’s Orange Hate Train there is no going back. You cannot have it both ways.  Which is weird because you want it both ways, but you just said you are against bisexuals.  Oh the irony.

Why the hell does this bother you morons so much?  Do you think that a bunch of lesbians are going to come to your house and try to recruit you like the Mormons? Actually that would be kind of funny, but it doesn’t work like that.

And why in the world, in the middle of death and destruction in Houston, did you pick now to come out with your Hate filled crap?  You people could not sink any lower. You’re no better than that (I need Sir Griffin for this) fuckwad Drumpf bragging about great crowds in Texas while not actually going to Houston.  As usual he turned it around to make it about himself.  He even was selling shit.  Holy crap I despise that monster.  My gosh this country is literally becoming hell on earth.

If you are going to call yourself a Christian please do us all a favor and practice what you preach.  If you are going to talk it you better be prepared to walk it.  Ugh, I am going into cliche mode.  Gotta go.

Namaste

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 28, 2017

Perspective

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Hey kids,

As I have been continuing my happiness project I have learned that becoming a happy person does not mean that you are dancing and singing with joy 24 hours a day.  Life just does not work like that.  But part if this project has made me learn how to deal with things in a different way and how to put things in perspective.  And perspective is something we all need to utilize. (I realize I am going a little “Peace, Love and Bobby Sherman” here, but I don’t care)

tumblr_o7weazI5oB1tni416o1_400Case in point; this past Saturday morning I checked my email.  Aside from the normal stuff there was a letter from a friend.  It was someone whom I met 22 years ago and while we do not live in the same area, we remain good friends.  He told me that they took his daughter in for routine surgery to remove a cyst.  I could immediately relate as I had the same procedure done this past Thursday.  He went further and said that when the doctor removed it she saw that it was not a cyst, but rather a tumor.  Though a biopsy needed to be done, the doctor was certain that it was a cancerous tumor.  My friend and his family were devastated as anyone would be if they had gotten such news.  I sent my well wishes and while I knew there was nothing I could do on the opposite side of the country, I hoped my words were of some comfort.

Let me say this right now; I hate cancer.  Cancer is something that is completely unnecessary and destroys families.  Almost all of us have had to deal with it in one way or another.  Each time I hear a story like this I get sick to my stomach.  I am sick just writing about it.  I had the same surgery, but a far different result.

It is almost an automatic that hearing bad news gives us perspective.  How many of us have seen the devastation in Houston this weekend and were thankful it was not us? How many times have we heard about bad things happening to good people and empathized with them?  Then we look at our own children and realize how good we really have it.

As I may have mentioned previously I started volunteering once a month at a food pantry.  I was there this past Saturday.  The people that come through are extremely grateful for what they are given.  Not one of them wants to be there, but there they are nonetheless.  They have children to feed and will do whatever it takes to do so.  I don’t do it for selfish reasons, I do it because I want to help people.  We are here on this wacky mixed up planet to support and love each other.  Enough of the fighting, enough of the hate.  Take a moment to listen to John Lennon’s Imagine.  It tells you everything you need to know about how to live your life.

 

So why can’t we have that same perspective every day?  I’m not saying you cannot enjoy your life.  You can still watch sports, go out and have drinks or spend a day at the beach with a cooler full of sandwiches.  You can even watch a boxing match on a Saturday night between a guy that has never lost a boxing match and a guy that has never been in one before.  You can do all of those things, but why go over the top nutty over things that, in the end, are meaningless?

Someone cuts you off in traffic.  Are you okay?  If so just move along and don’t think about them again.  Are they taking down a statue that somehow you identify with your heritage?  Let it go.  It’s just a statue.  You want to build a statue that should truly represent what it’s supposed to be like to be an American?  Build a statue of this guy:

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Some athletes kneel for the national anthem?  It’s their right to do so.  Let them and do your own thing.  Stand taller if it makes you feel better.  Is that damn car commercial with the awful Neil Diamond song (like there are any that aren’t awful) playing for the one millionth time today.  Just mute it and wait it out.  These are the sort of things that, in the long run, mean absolutely nothing.  People mean something.  Our relationships mean something.  Our lives have meaning when we reach out to help others.  When we treat people with courtesy and respect.  As someone wise once said “just be nice”.  Or as Sir Griffin once said “just be a fucking nice person and don’t be a daft prick”.

This is all a huge part of the reason I dislike Drumpf so much.  He is a mean and nasty person.  He has no compassion, no humanity and virtually no common sense.  If someone wants to put on a uniform and join the military I could not care less if they are transgendered.  Pardon a criminal?  Building walls?  He’s a despicable human and thanks to that jackass we will never progress as a country.  That is why it is more important than ever to be nice.

beniceIt’s been said a thousand times before that we don’t know anyone else’s struggles, we just know our own.  Don’t take your struggles out on someone else.  It’s not fair and it is certainly not polite.  Live your life, be happy, ask for help when you need it and leave others alone.  Perspective.  Have some perspective.

And now that I am done with that I can get to some other nonsense tomorrow.

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 23, 2017

The High Road

Hey kids,

Today I have been the subject of an attack, both personal and professional, by a former friend/client. My business has been threatened and I have been told that her friends are half-jokingly threatening to have me killed for her. Neither I nor my family find that to be the least bit amusing.  Threatening murder is not a joke and should not be treated as such.  I try to maintain a professional attitude at all times with my clients, but as many of you already know her behavior in California was shameful and embarrassing. My business policy has always been no refunds on deposits and full payment due prior to the date of service. Once payment is made there are no refunds. In situations like this I choose to take the high road. There are two sides to every story, but I will not share mine publicly.

ThumperAs Thumper once said “Eating greens is a special treat. It makes long ears and great big feet. (to Bambi) But it sure is awful stuff to eat.” [whispering] I made that last part up myself.

Oh is that the wrong quote?  Dang it!

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 22, 2017

The Agita Files

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Hey kids,

Unbeknownst to most of you I began a happiness project several months ago.  Included in that project was a desire to embrace minimalism.  Thus I have gotten rid of boxes and boxes of crap that I have no need to keep.  Essentially if I look at it and it does not bring me joy, I get rid of it.  That is something I will discuss further at a later time, however today I am discussing something else that does not give me joy and that I want rid myself of and that is my agita.  My hope is that once I get this out in the open, I can be like Elsa and Let it Go.

For the uninformed (coincidentally that is how I refer to people that watch Fox “news”) Agita is an Italian-American word for heartburn, but it is often also used to convey anxiety, stress and aggravation as well.  Now I am not talking about things that cause everyone agita, like the threat of an orange pumpkin head starting a nuclear war or going on TV to interrupt Bachelor in Paradise (which I have never seen anyway) in a classic “Wag the Dog” move so he can announce war in Afghanistan so he can get people thinking about something besides the fact that he is a white supremacist, a Neo-Nazi and and overall useless pile of shit, but rather the ridiculous things that cause agita to me. These are things that should not bother me or anyone else, but they do.  My hope is that once I get these written down I will be able to say goodbye to them just like I did all that old junk in the garage.  I am listing only a few here because if I listed everything this blog would never get finished.   You will also notice that most, if not all, of the agita is caused by people.  I guess we can come to the conclusion that all people give me agita and that I am a grumpy old man when I get agita.  We’re here to change that.

  • Al RokerAl Roker – Yes, Al gives me agita.  I am not a viewer of the Today Show so why exactly is he in this list?  Because last month we were out to a late breakfast.  It was around 10 AM and the TV at the restaurant was on NBC.  There was Al along with two women I had never seen before or since.  He was yucking it up with them like they had been friends since childhood.  It drove me insane.  I kept looking away from the TV, but each time I had to look back and see the ridiculousness that was going on.  I was angry and agitated.  Why?  I have no idea, but the last time I saw Al he was the fat, jolly weather guy in the mornings.  Why would the weather guy be yapping with two women about recipes.  And since when is Al not fat?  That made me a tad bit insane as well.  Stick to the weather Al.
  • The Standers – I have written about these numskulls before and I still hate them.  These are the people that go to a restaurant and then stand at the bar in front of chairs and try and look cool with a beer in their hand.  You can read my prior blog entry here if you care.  Did I mention they still give me agita?  Well they do.dachsund
  • Stick Figure Families – Why do people put these on their car?  They serve no purpose as far as I can tell except to say “look at me I have two cats, a dog, three children and a husband”.  Stick figure families give me agita and could have been included in the next thing I hate, which is…
  • Attention Whores – These are the people that you see putting incessant videos of themselves and their families online.  The best example I can give you is this: a few weeks ago Donna was watching TV and I had the unfortunate timing of walking through the room while this agitating story was on.  Apparently this family was adopting two kids and instead of telling them in private, as a family the adoption was finalized they thought they’d go to WDW and have Mickey Mouse tell them instead.  Of course they recorded it and put it online for all to see prompting the phrase (thank you Carol) attention whores.  Not everything you do needs to be broadcast to the world.  And an adoption is something for the family, not Cast Members at WDW.  Argh!
  • Parades – I hate parades.  Not Disney parades, but the ones that back up traffic. 1200px-Red_hot_chilli_peppers
  • Salt Life Stickers – A lot of people have these stickers on the backs of their cars that read “Salt Life”.  Is there a Pepper Life?  How about a Lawry’s Seasoned Salt Life. What about  Salt Substitute Life?  Does the so-called Salt Life lead to hypernatremia?  I just have no idea what it all means.
  • Going batty over an event – And event like say…an eclipse maybe?  I have to say that I do not understand the eclipse fascination.  People went nutty over the moon blocking the sun.  How about going nutty over the polar ice caps melting.  Let’s go nutty over homeless children.  I had no interest in the eclipse and I sure as hell was not going to risk my eyesight by looking up at it in a pair of $1.00 glasses that look like like a lesser quality than the ones I get at 3D movies.
    • Sir Griffin here to interject a few of my thoughts.  I was asked to stop by and to use foul language so here you go.  That was the shittiest eclipse ever.  It never got dark and it got maybe a tad cooler.  Many people looked up in the sky and saw…the fucking sun.  (Again, foul language was requested so I have obliged) I turned on the TV and saw a giant orange ball of shit looking straight into the sun.  Apparently he does not believe anything scientific.  I also saw people whooping and hollering about darkness.  It gets dark every damn night.  Sometimes it gets cloudy during the day and it gets dark.  Then I heard not one, not two, but three different idiots asking what cavemen thought when this natural phenomenon happened.  I have a guess.  Ooga booga, it get dark.  Ooga booga.  Me want food.  Thanks for letting me stop by and I cannot leave without saying Fuck Drumpf!
  • FYI: Sir Griffin occasionally give me agita.PARTY-BORED
  • Parties – I hate parties.  I especially hate Super Bowl parties.  I do not attend parties so why does it give me agita?  Like I said, it just doesn’t make much sense.  Other people having parties bugs me.  Back in the day when I occasionally did go to a party I was miserable.  I always ended up either alone on a couch or listening to some shithead tell me about his car obsession.  Life is way too short to waste my team listening to that bozo.

So there you have it.  I have freed myself from all of that nonsense.  Maybe.  At least I feel a little better.

Namaste

 

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 17, 2017

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: NBC

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Hey kids,

I have to say that I am not really impressed by the fall TV schedule at all.  Our last gasp will be NBC and Sir Griffin will be here momentarily to share everything about it.  In the meantime I will talk about what a freaking piece of garbage Drumpf is, how much I despise him and his supporters and how there is no such thing as a “good Nazi”.  I’m just truly disgusted each and every day that we allow this nonsense to continue.  Will congress do nothing to get rid of this ass clown?  How about impeachment and removal from office people?  How about the 25th amendment?  The guy is insane, unstable and a threat to this country as well as all the others.  Disgusting.  Oh, here is Sir Griffin.  Take it away and please, swear as much as you’d like.

Thank you once again for the chance to share my thoughts on the new season.  Things are not looking all that promising thus far.  Will NBC be the great redeemer?  Um…no.

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However, before I start discussing the bad shows upcoming on NBC I am thrilled beyond belief for the return of Will & Grace.  That was one of my all-time favorite shows and I am so happy it is back.  Please do not disappoint me Will, Grace, Jack or Karen.

The Brave (Premieres 9/25/17) – Wonderful.  Another BS “rah, rah, America” show. Why? Is the US really that superficial?  Okay probably, but this show is not the answer to your problems.  This piece of crap is described as ” a heart-pounding journey into the complex world of America’s elite undercover military heroes”.  I watched several trailers and all I could do was roll my eyes and cringe.  It stars Mike Vogel and Anne Heche if you care.  I sure as hell don’t.  Odds of me watching?  About the same as me buying an “I love Drumpf” t-shirt.

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***Excuse me Sir Griffin.  The Brave photo you have added is of Merida, not the TV show.  Why is that exactly?***

To answer your question it is simply because the TV show sucks and that was a great movie.  When I think of Brave, I automatically think of Merida.  Or the Atlanta Braves.

Law & Order True Crime (Premieres 9/26/17) – This is an anthology series that will dramatize real life crimes, much like some other network (don’t ask me which one I don’t remember) did with OJ last year.  First up: The Menendez brothers.  Again you millennials will probably need to Google this as it was before your time.  Holy fuck when did I get so old that I am able to use the phrase “before your time”?  Anyway they murdered their parents, went to prison, yada, yada, yada.  To be honest I paid very little attention to the whole thing when it was happening and frankly I don’t really care to see it dramatized.  Fun trivia: Lyle Menendez is in the same prison as Charles “Tex” Watson. Oh crap, more stuff for millennials to Google.  Chances of me watching?  About the same as me changing my last name to Menendez.

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And next we have…that’s it?  That’s all that is coming up this fall?  Oh my gosh this has got to be the shittiest fall TV season I have ever seen.  NBC does have a boatload of mid-season and replacement shows ready so I am guessing we will be seeing those sooner as opposed to later.  However, with names like The Awesome Show, Genius Junior and Ellen’s Game of Games I would not get too excited.  Thanks again for allowing me to share with you my thoughts on the fall season.  Enjoy it as best as you can.  Oh, and watch Atypical on Netflix.  It’s great.  Friends from College is very funny. Watch that too.

Thank you Sir Griffin.  And until next time, Fuck You Drumpf!

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 16, 2017

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: Fox

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Hey kids,

If it wasn’t crystal clear before, it absolutely, without question, is abundantly clear now. We have a white sepremacist in the Oval Office.  A Nazi sympathizer.  A racist that is under the belief that there is such a thing as a nice Nazi. I am beyond disgusted by that monster and he must be impeached immediately.  Again, if you support him or think what he said yesterday is alright you can go set a place at the Nazi table for yourself because you are no better than they are.

However that is not why we are here today.  We are here to give Sir Griffin another look at the fall TV schedule.  Today Sir Griffin will be gibing us his thoughts on the new offerings from Fox.  Today’s tidbit: The Simpsons has been airing on Fox since 1989 and I have yet to see a single episode.  Take it away Sir Griffin!

Thank you once again for having me as a part of your amazing blog.  Before I begin I must share the following tweet from Rav Danya Ruttenberg:

I have to agree with that sentiment 100%.  Seriously, wasn’t there once an entire war that included defeating the Nazis?  Doesn’t Indiana Jones hate Nazis?  This country’s leadership is sickening.  Moving on…

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Ghosted (Premieres 10/1/17) – This is one of those shows that make you say “oh dear god how in the world did this get the green light?”  As I was watching the trailer I got bored. My mind was wandering when I was supposed to be laughing.  This alleged comedy is about two dimwits (Craig Robinson and Adam Scott, both of whom I really like) who are recruited to investigate unexplained paranormal events in Los Angeles.  Somewhere in all this mess is the lovely Amber Stevens West.  Why?  I have no idea, but I know she is much better than this crap.  This thing is buried on Sunday nights so hopefully it will have a quick and painless death.  Odds of me watching?  Nearly identical to me opening up my own paranormal detective agency.

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The Gifted (Premieres 10/2/17) – From Marvel comes this X-Men story line, albeit separate from the movies.  With the exception of the first X-Men film which I really did not like, I am a big fan of the series.  But do I really want to see young mutants fighting for their place in society for a 10 week series?  Of course I do.  This show stars Amy Acker, whom I have been infatuated with since her turn as Fred on Angel in the early 2000’s, and Stephen Moyer as ordinary parents of mutant children.  It also stars another fan favorite (me being the fan) Natalie Alyn Lind who played Silver St. Cloud on Gotham. The trailer was exciting, the special effects were impressive and I like the fact that it is a limited run series.  You throw all of that together with the hope of seeing Professor X (highly doubtful, but one can hope) and you have the makings of a hit show.  Odds of me watching this one?  You know it’s 100%.

The Orville (Premieres 9/10/17) – My eyes, oh my eyes.  And my ears too.  Oh my gosh what is happening here?  I might as well tell you that this is a sci-fi comedy drama set 400 years in the future.  It stars Seth MacFarlane and Adrianne Palicki as the captain and first officer of the USS Orville as it explores space.  Throw in the twist that these two are also divorced from each other and you have comedy gold aluminum.   Okay so it looks like sort of a rip off of Galaxy Quest mixed with the intelligence of Family Guy.  In other words, it looks awful.  The trailer offered but one, brief chuckle (if you can call it that) followed by me looking for something better to do.  It appears I will much more time for my Netflix shows this fall.  Odds of me watching this…show?  About the same as me giving up bacon.

Love-BoatThere are mid-season shows of course including 911, a show about first responders, a medical show (yuck) called The Resident and something called LA to Vegas about a flight crew and their passengers as they travel from LA to Vegas every week.  Is that supposed to be like The Love Boat?  Damn it!  Millennials, please go Google that.  And tell Gopher he’s needed on the Lido Deck.  Most people don’t know about the pilot I wrote for CBS called Sheboygan Falls to Sheboygan.  It was about a guy and his daily commute from Sheboygan Falls to Sheboygan.  Each week hilarity would ensue when he tried to get to work.  They did not pick it up.  Thus I get the chance to write for you kids.  You’re welcome.

Thank you Sir Griffin.  We have once again been thoroughly enthralled by you and your thoughts on the upcoming season.  We are almost done with our fall preview with just one final network to go.  Will there be something, anything of interest on NBC?  I highly doubt it, but stay tuned anyway.

Namaste

 

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 15, 2017

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: The CW

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Hey kids,

I recently was reminded of what an intelligent child I have.  I realize that most parents think their kids are smart, but I now have proof that mine really is.  I asked him a question last night.  I told him to imagine he was trapped in a room with three of the most vile people in history; Hitler, bin Laden & Drumpf.  I explained that he had a weapon with only two bullets and asked him what he would do.  Without hesitation he said “that’s easy daddy, I’d shoot Drumpf twice”.  Love that kid.

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So I have invited Sir Griffin back for another round of looking at the fall TV schedule. Today we do not have a lot of time so I told him we’d be looking at The CW, better known as the network that most people don’t even realize is still on the air.  That’s not really fair since they have two wonderful shows, Riverdale and iZombie, but will they add more quality or just crap?  For the answer I now give you the amazing Sir Griffin.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  What a pleasure to be back for a look at the CW.  Today will be a little brief as there are a mere two new shows premiering this fall.  Are they good?  Let’s take a look.

Valor (Premieres 10/9/17) – Oh goody.  Another “rah, rah America” show.  Ugh.  Do we really need this?  Are people so into nationalism that they have to be reminded by TV shows that they live in America?  It makes me think of people that put giant American flags on the back of their trucks.  As if we don’t already know which country you live in. Needless to say this show looks like the biggest pile of shit we’ll see this fall.

***Damn it Sir Griffin!***

Oh, right.  Anyway it is a story about some army commanding officer ludicrously named Leland Gallo and his co-pilot Officer Nora Madani, who is described as “an intense and driven junior army pilot”.  My next question when I read this was “the army has planes? I thought only air force had planes. I mean, it’s right there in there title; air force.”  Who knew?  Regardless of that this looks like your standard crap that will soon be canceled. Chances of me watching this drivel?  Really?  You don’t already know?

DYNASTY - Season 2 CastDynasty (Premieres 10/11/17) – Okay, who the hell out there was clamoring for a remake of friggin’ Dynasty?  (Is that better?)  I will tell you who…no one.  I guess I need to explain what this is in case any millennials read this blog.  This show is based on the show of the same title which ran on ABC from 1981 – 1989.  It was a nighttime soap opera that revolved around the Carrrington and Colby families and was essentially ABC’s response to the popularity of Dallas on CBS.  Everyone had issues, there were many affairs, stupid children and fights.  This is the same old crap, just recycled for a new generation of people that like to watch bitchy people on TV.  I can say that I never saw a single episode of the original and there is no way in hell that I am watching a single episode of this remake.   Thus the chances of me watching are about the same as me getting in a time machine made from a DeLorean and trying New Coke again to see if it was as bad as I remember instead of making sure Drumpf was never born.  Damn it, now I have to explain New Coke to millennials.  Just Google it.

***Excuse me Sir Griffin, but the photo you have used is from the original Dynasty***

Yes, that is correct.  Does it really matter?  And look at the 80’s hair.  I love it!

And that’s all kids.  A lousy (and I do mean lousy) two new shows on the CW.  They do have two mid-season shows on the radar; Black Lightning and Life Sentence, but they don’t look all that promising either.  It looks as though I’ll be sticking with Riverdale and iZombie as the only CW shows I watch.  Until next time, I’m Sir Griffin.

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Why thank you Sir Griffin.  We truly appreciate you keeping the foul language to a minimum, although we have been getting a lot of viewer mail telling us that they loved your foul mouth.  We have also gotten several letters asking for an iZombie photo. You’re welcome.

Namaste

Posted by: lylescott89 | August 14, 2017

Silent No More

I stand firmly AGAINST the white supremacists and racists and their ilk. There is NO place in America for this sort of ignorance. If you write back to defend these Neanderthals, I am not your friend. If you support the cause of these racists, unfriend me immediately—I am not your friend. Are we clear on this? – Kevin McQuade

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Hey kids,

The above quote is from a Facebook post from one of my former college professors.  It is exactly what I wanted to say, but he said it first and much more eloquently than I would have so I included it here and have given him the proper credit.  I am giving Sir Griffin the day off, although his foul language would be most appreciated and accepted on this day.

I have stayed silent for way too long.  Anyone who knows me already knows that I am a proud liberal, a pacifist and a feminist.  I stand for equality for all and Saturday hit me quite hard.  Let me share the story before I berate you assholes that caused this.  And by “assholes who caused this” I mean (and I will not back down or apologize for this) all of you dumbfucks (Sir Griffin wrote that) that voted for and/or continue to support the white supremacist in chief, aka Herr Drumpf.

blues-brothers-quotes-the-blues-brothersI awoke on Saturday completely oblivious to what was going on.  The only TV viewing I did was my normal Sportscenter.  I received a text from my aunt asking if I had seen what was happening in Virginia.  I said no and she replied that there were demonstrations in Charlottesville.  Again, I thought little of it at the time because despite me vehemently disagreeing with Nazis (or as we call them in America, republicans) I know that they have the right to march and protest just like everyone else.  In my mind I was picturing the scene from The Blues Brothers in which the Illinois Nazis were marching whilst getting yelled at, and ultimately forced to jump off a bridge, by protesters.  As Jake (John Belushi) said “I hate Illinois Nazis”.  This is what I thought was going on in Charlottesville.  When I saw what was really happening I just could not believe it.  It was truly disgusting.

Many of the white folks doing Nazi salutes & shouting anti-Semitic slurs in Charlottesville claim to follow a Jewish Rabbi named Jesus. How? – John Pavlovitz

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There has not been a day since last November that I have not been embarrassed and ashamed of Drumpf and his followers.  I have not woken up once felling good about my country.  I remain ashamed and embarrassed of the good old USA.  It is not great and Saturday proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I don’t need to go into all of the details because by now you know them all.  Briefly, a bunch a white supremacists marched on Charlottesville chanting racial  and anti-Semitic slurs.  There was violence, injuries and murder.  It was the exact opposite of what makes America great.  They carried torches and it looked like an old film from Nazi Germany. Take note that these are the same people that bitch and moan about a black man exercising his first amendment rights by protesting silently and peacefully, yet that when they violently protest they think it is acceptable. Violence is never acceptable.

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You cannot tell me that this is not a direct consequence of the actions of Drumpf.  These people made no secret that they were Drumpf supporters and if you cannot see that then you are blind to all the facts.  White nationalist and piece of shit David Duke was interviewed at the event and said “We are determined to take our country back…we’re going to fulfill the promises of Drumpf…that’s what we believed in and that’s what we voted for”.

First of all this is not your country.  I don’t thing Duke is a Native American so STFU asshole.  Second, if it was not clear to you last year that Drumpf was a racist it should be absolutely 100% clear to you now.  This is his base.  These are the assholes that voted for him.  Maybe you do not consider yourself a racist, but if you voted for him you definitely showed the world that you are okay with racism.  You, whoever you may be, sicken me. That Drumpf sticker on your car tells me all I need to know about you.

And what about Drumpf himself?  This was the perfect opportunity to disavow himself from these maniacal assholes.  Did he do that?  What do you think?

Nazis are a lot like cats.  If they like you, it’s probably because you are feeding them – John Oliver

Nope, that slimeball, asshole, piece of shit fuckwad did not do that.  Instead he said some BS propaganda that tried to sound like he was against what happened, but then added it was “bigotry and violence on many sides”.  NO IT WAS NOT YOU USELESS & LAZY SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!  It was a white nationalist rally.  A rally of the klan.  People carrying flags with swastikas and confederate flags.   These are the people 62 million of you deplorable ass hats voted for.  Drumpf himself just told police that police brutality was acceptable.  He told people at his rallies to “beat the crap out of them” and he would pay the legal fees.  This pathetic excuse for a man has no morals and has incited violence hundreds of times.  Should we really be surprised that his followers are now rising up to act like him?  To create the violence he has proposed?

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Without a doubt these people are domestic terrorists.  No wall would have kept them out. No Muslim ban could have prevented this.  Is Drumpf going to ban all racist white guys? Of course not.  (I realize that today he came out and said racism is bad, but he sounded completely unbelievable as he read his scripted response and well, too little too late. Any human with an ounce of compassion would have denounced Nazis immediately not two days later. Go to hell you pompous ass)

Look, I despise Drumpf with every fiber of my being and right now I despise all 62 million of you morons that cast your vote for hatred, bigotry and racism.  I think you are all stupid.  I don’t care if you are my oldest friend.  I don’t care if you are member of my family.  I don’t care who you are, but please know that I have no respect for you and I want nothing to do with you.  I just cannot look at you the same way ever again.  You are as guilty as Drumpf.  You made this happen.  You could have prevented it, but your inability to vote for a woman or your inability to get actual facts before casting a vote or your inability to see that man who made fun of a disabled reporter was unfit for any public office made you guilty as hell.  Do I care if you hate me now?  No.  Do I care if my Facebook friends list drops to zero?  No.  If I didn’t care about this country I would not be making such a fuss, but I cannot deal with you, whomever you may be.

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Yes, I am angry.  My country has been taken over by bigots, fools and racists.  Any day now Drumpf could obliterate millions of innocent people.  That’s on you.

Namaste

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