Posted by: lylescott89 | January 9, 2006

Hey, It’s 2006!

Hi kids! Good to be back from my whirlwind holiday tour of Australia.  Saw lots of kangaroos and wombats, but mostly just relaxed and saw the sights.  I recall one day in particular when I shared a sammich with a Joey.  What a day.  Of course there was the day I watched the sunset with a group of aboriginies.  That was special.

In any case, I have some items for 2006 that I must discuss with you all.  Actually, they are mostly guidelines for the new year, but here goes:

If you are in a movie theatre, just shut up.  No one wants to hear you talk and no one wants to hear your cell phone.  Turn it off or leave it in the car.  What could be that important to disrupt your film?  If you don’t understand what is going on, don’t ask your neighbor, just sit there and contemplate how stupid you are and ask when the film is over. 

Next, please do not slow down as you come to a green light.  It is annoying and you make people hate you.  The light is green, keep moving.  If it turns yellow, so be it, but if you approach and it is green, just humor me and keep moving at the same speed.

You all know that you do not need to bless me with e-mails full of video clips, pictures of two headed camels supposedly taken in Arkansas and stupid internet warnings.  Really, you can keep this to yourself, I do not need it.  But thanks for thinking of me.  However, if you come across a picture of Jessica Alba you think I might enjoy, go ahead and send that.

If you are attending a concert and I am there, please do not sing.  I paid $80.00 to hear Bruce Springsteen or Jimmy Buffet, not you. 

As discussed previously, please do not send me a Christmas Letter.  If you have the urge to write a personal note to say hey, that’s fine, but I don’t want to hear about your kid’s great soccer abilities or your Aunt Mabels trip to Tuscon. 

Please keep in mind that the designated hitter is not good for baseball.  Nor is artificial turf.  Cheerleasders, however, would be a good innovention.

Also remember on a daily basis how incredibly hot Jessica Alba is and think of her often in that blue bikini from the film Into the Blue.

Please do not be offended by any words in this blog.  Nothing is to be taken personally, it’s all for fun, okay?  Now, that said, I am reinstating all of the banned words including monkey, ape, chimp & snot.  There are no longer any banned words on this site.  If you are offended, well, too bad.

That’s all for now, but I will have more later.

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Responses

  1. I must add to your 2006 list of guidelines. If you are driving, and your friend says to you, "turn left here," please do not make that left turn until the light turns green. Not only do we not like the designated hitter, one must remember that the prevent defense prevents wins. Something I must know – would you really pay $80 to hear Bruce Springsteen sing? I am still having trouble with snot not being banned from your blogs. Sorry.


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