Posted by: lylescott89 | February 18, 2008

The Girl with Big Boobs at Tijuana Flats

Hey kids,


Have you ever noticed there are a lot of really stupid people out there?  Well, I have and I am going to talk about two of them.  Let’s start with a moron we will call Jenks.  Now, Jenks was serving up pizza and said the following:  “I cannot imagine ever drinking soda with pizza.  In fact, I cannot imagine drinking soda with any food”.  Okay, now immediately from this statement I realize Jenks is an idiot.  A lot of people drink soda with pizza.  Tons in fact.  Sometimes, I do.  So as Jenks was insulting me I let him know this.  He thought it was weird.


Moron number two is a girl we will call Midge.  Now, Midge stated that she is always getting separated from her family when they travel and she has been known to wander aimlessly for hours looking for them.  She said that she does not have a cell phone, but they all do and does not know what to do if she gets lost.  So, I asked Midge if she ever considered getting a cell phone of her own and she said no.  I asked if she ever considered going to a pay phone and calling her family when she gets lost.  She said no and that she did not have their numbers anyway.  Dumfounded, I suggested to Midge, a 48 year old woman, that she might want to consider getting a cell phone and getting her family’s numbers.  She said she’d never thought of that.  Idiot!


Now, let me share the story of the girl with big boobs at Tijuana Flats.  This was my first visit to the Flats, but I am sure I will return.  The food was good and there was a table of six women next to ours.  There was one in particular with very large tracts of land and an impressive figure to boot.  She had curly blonde hair, which is always lovely.  I had a chance encounter with her at the hot sauce bar.  I ended up getting much more hot sauce than I needed, but I was distracted.  I certainly appreciate the beauty of the ladies.


Unbeknown to me, Tijuana Flats is sort of a Florida Gators hangout.  There was no Gators stuff on the walls, but the staff all seemed to be fans and there were plenty of patrons wearing Gators gear as well.  They noticed my shirt right away.  The server, Maggie, told us about an annoying Ohio State person that was in earlier.  Seems that he is under the assumption that Ohio State, which sucks and I hate, is better than the mighty Florida Gators.  Hmmmm.  I seem to recall a certain National Championship game annihilation in football and then the same thing in basketball a few months later.  Apparently he missed this bit of news.


Speaking of idiots from Ohio, I went and got my blood drawn at the doctor’s office this morning.  I was waiting my turn and this idiot came to the window and demanded he go before the four of us waiting because his doctor ordered the draw.  The nurse told him that the four of us waiting were not there for the fun of a needle prick, but that our doctors had ordered blood drawn as well.  He said that if he was in Ohio he’d be served first because of his age.  Well go back to Ohio you frakkin moron!  It seems to me that most people from Ohio have a sense of entitlement that they do not deserve in the least. 


Happy President’s Day kids!





  1. Most amusing about the idiot from Ohio deserving to skip ahead of four people.  The lab I use accepts appointments, (they did not always do this, which was a pain as it was just hit or miss if you had to wait long).  Naturally, I always make an appointment.  The dirty looks I get when I get called ahead of others is amazing.  I have heard the lab people explain that the people with appointments get taken first.  Being that these people are idiots, they still don’t get it and are angry. 
    Where did you encounter Jenks?  Sounds like a Bob thing.  I enjoy an icy cold Coca Cola with my pizza. 
    On to Midge.  Where did you encounter her?  Her biological age is 48.  What is her mental age?

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