Posted by: lylescott89 | October 9, 2009

Survivor Samoa: Jeff goes missing and we find Dave

Hey kids,

 

These were my initial thoughts from last night’s episode of Survivor: 

  • There is another tribe other than Foa Foa?
  • Who the hell is Dave?
  • Where is Jeff?
  • Damn that Natalie is hot!
  • Why would you wear heels to the jungle?
  • Monica has the kind of ass you would write songs about.
  • They don’t hide hidden immunity idols like they used to.

 

The producers last night focused on Galu way too much.  So much, in fact, that it was painfully obvious that they were going to lose the immunity challenge for the first time and head off to tribal council.  It was poor planning on the part of the producers.  For the last three weeks we saw so much Foa Foa that we got to know all of them very well.  Galu was more of a mystery and now that we know them a little better we know that they are kind of dull comparatively.

 

Our show started with Foa Foa returning from their third consecutive tribal council.  Jaison reiterated how he could not stand for Ben’s racial language and Evil Russell questioned Jaison’s manliness based on Jaison saying he would walk out if Ben was not voted out.  Evil Russell can think whatever he wants and while it may have been a bad move strategically, it says nothing about his manhood.  It says a lot about the kind of man Jaison really is and the kind of fool & coward that Evil Russell is.  Still, Russell folded and voted for Ben so you have to give him that.

 

Over at Galu we had Shambo (and her mullet) referring to herself in the third person.  Of course, Shambo also had to share the clues about the hidden immunity idol with Erik because that is the thing to do on Survivor.   Shambo had virtually no chance of finding it and we pretty much knew that Erik would eventually find it.  Would he share it with Shambo like he promised?  Don’t make me laugh.  I don’t think he’d share it with her mullet if given the chance. 

 

Tree mail arrived and each team captain had to send tribe members to go with them somewhere and do something.  No idea what was to be done at this point, so over at Galu we had Nice Russell choosing Shambo and someone named Dave to join him on the beach.  Over at Foa Foa, Mick chose Evil Russell and the luscious Natalie.  Thank you Mick.  The more Natalie the better.  They arrived at the reward challenge to find themselves alone with no Jeff.  Where was Jeff?  Was he sick?  Was he tired of doing what has to be one of the greatest jobs on the planet?  Was he hiding in a tree laughing at them standing there waiting for Shambo to snap?  Perhaps the challenge was a game of Find Jeff?  Actually, that would have been a better challenge than what we got which was essentially a game of bocce ball.

 

But before the bocce ball could begin, the tribes had to figure out what to do.  After a few minutes of staring at each other and the Foa Foa tribe wondering who the hell that tall guy was on the other team, each tribe suddenly made a move towards two things:  a box of balls and a box of chickens.  Shambo quickly grabbed two chickens and started to leave while Natalie got one, only because the mullet apparently has no hands.  The guys at the box of balls read the clue and told them to return the chickens. 

 

Now, I will not go into the challenge as it was not all that interesting and it was sort of pre-ordained that Galu would win since they had won everything up until this point.  Galu won, took their chickens and still, no Jeff.  I don’t recall if we had ever had a challenge without Jeff before, but if they are taking votes as to whether or not they should do it again I will vote no.  I want my Jeff!

 

Meanwhile, back at Galu, Erik was busy looking for the hidden immunity idol.  Once again, it was found without much effort.  Very wise of him to search while part of the tribe was away.  Note to producers:  if you are going to have a hidden immunity idol you need to hide it better.  If two morons can find them anyone can.  So far, Erik has told no one.  We will see if he can keep it that way.

 

As Foa Foa was again discouraged, we continued to focus on Galu.  This is when it got scary.  Shambo began acting like a chicken.  She started walking like a chicken and clucking like a chicken.  I was completely shocked she did not break into the chicken dance.  Try to get that obnoxious song out of your head the rest of the day.  Since she seemed to know so much about chickens, Nice Russell decided to put her in charge of the chickens.  I think we all knew where this was going, but despite this fact, it was still fun to watch. 

 

Shambo got so excited about an egg that she let a chicken go free.  Then she proudly told the tribe how she produced an egg and that should be worth something.  You produced an egg?  Shambo, if you can suddenly produce chicken eggs out of your butt, you have my vote as greatest Survivor contestant ever.  Until then, shut up.

 

In reality though, Shambo’s error led to some pretty comical acts at camp in pursuit of the chicken.  I truly enjoyed the sight of seeing Erik getting clothes lined by the clothesline, how ironic is that?   Note to Shambo:  Chickens can fly.  They cannot fly very far or for very long and certainly not very high, but they do have wings and they can fly for short distances.  No, you’ll never see a flock of chickens flying high above, but that would be really cool.  I also laughed heartily at the sight of Shambo trying to get the chicken out of the tree by making chicken sounds.  Yea, that always works. 

 

So with a chicken still wild and free and Shambo unable to produce an egg we were off to the immunity challenge.  This consisted of running across a bouncy thing and piling up some blocks followed by crossing over on some ropes and piling up some more blocks.  It was better than it sounds thanks to the return of Jeff who added some good play by play.  I’d never seen anyone cross over on a rope slower than Monica.  Regardless, Galu was still ahead up until the end when they dropped two blocks and Foa Foa did not which sent Galu off to their first tribal council.

 

Now, I was thinking Shambo must go after the chicken mishap and while that was briefly discussed, the talk quickly changed to Monica or Yasmin.  Russell was adamant that Monica be gone after her pitiful performance in the challenges.  Monica wanted to get rid of Yasmin because she did nothing around camp.  It was at this point that I had to question if Russell had ever taken a good look at Monica’s ass.  It’s amazing.  A work of art unseen since the days of Parvati Shallow.  How can you vote that out?

 

At tribal council we again saw Jeff.  Seems he is doing just fine.  It was a fairly uneventful tribal council, highlighted by Yasmin’s shoes.  Yes, Yasmin said she was dressing up for Jeff and wore heels.  In the jungle!  I think this is what eventually did Yasmin in as everyone pretty much knew that she was useless at camp, but seeing her wearing heels was the last straw and she was voted out by an 8-2 margin.  Monica’s ass was saved.  Literally! 

 

As the show ended I thought I heard Jeff say “who the hell is that Dave guy and where did he come from all of a sudden?”  Until next week my friends… 

 

Namaste

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