Posted by: lylescott89 | October 16, 2009

Survivor Samoa: I Told You to Take the Tarps

Hey kids,


I have to say that this was kind of an up and down episode of Survivor.  It had some really good things and a few lame things to deal with, but overall I enjoyed it as I usually do.  A few things I noticed this week:


  • Jeff was back and in fine form.
  • Last week we met Dave and this week we found out about his awesomeness.
  • Who is Brett and has he been there the whole time.
  • The cameras stayed away from Monica’s ass, but did focus a lot on the luscious Natalie.  I swear the dirtier she gets the hotter she becomes.
  • Waves have a way of frightening Erik.
  • Ashley would be a good opponent for strip basketball.


Our episode began with Erik rubbing sand into his face on the beach.  I believe that is known as exfoliating or something like that.  However, he seemed shocked and amazed when the waves came up and knocked him over.  Now, I got a cheap laugh out of this but he seemed very angry with the ocean for doing such a thing to him.  How dare that ocean send waves up on the beach!


Natalie was sitting on the beach talking with Ashley about something, but I was totally distracted by Natalie’s legs.  Oh my gosh they looked fantastic.  Natalie is in pharmaceutical sales by which I am guessing means she is one of those way hot model types that you see in the lobby of your doctor’s office.  They come in pulling a thing full of drugs and wait to come in and talk to the doctors about why their drugs are so much better than the others.  This is why I love going to see the doctor.  The lobby is always filled with blondes, brunettes & redheads in sexy outfits.  Short skirts and long legs can sell just about anything I always say.


Where was I?  Oh yes, Natalie & Ashley on the beach.  Ashley seemed to believe Liz was talking smack about her and Natalie said she would always protect her.  I believe this is called foreshadowing.


The reward challenge this day would be one of those marvelous eating of icky foods. Ashley bragged about how she could eat anything and this would not be a problem for her at all.  Again we have foreshadowing.  For this food challenge, however, Jeff had a little twist called the blender.  Each tribe member rolled a ball around an octopus (don’t even ask) and whatever gross food the ball landed on Jeff would put in the blender and mix with some juice, milk or water.  Of course, there was also a spot known as Jeff’s choice which made this even more fun.  One by one tribe members stepped up and drank the blended clams, octopus, sea cucumbers, etc.  Then it was Ashley’s turn and the dreaded sea slug guts.  Needless to say Ashley ralphed all over Samoa and Foa Foa again went home empty handed.


What was the reward you ask?  Well it was a big plate of steaks and sausages.  Real food for those who suffered through drinking the crap.  One more twist was made before the spoils went to the victors:  Nice Russell had to choose one of his own tribe members to miss out on the feast and head over to Foa Foa to watch all the fun.  In my opinion, Russell made the best choice:  Our mullet loving gal Shambo.  Now, Shambo immediately protested and complained that she went the last time.  She asked Russell to pick someone else, but he sat silently and would not budge.  Shambo had no choice and went on over to Foa Foa while Russell said that this was her payback for losing the chicken.  This made complete sense to me.  Shambo had already lost the fishing gear and a chicken, plus she has been a pain in the ass around camp.  Why not send her away so the rest can enjoy some food in peace?  Sure, there is that fear of her turning against you later, but at this point why keep her around at all?  The next time you go to tribal council dump her and the mullet and be free of them once and for all.


At Foa Foa, Shambo complained and said how much she liked them and then asked for a group hug.  I would have just hugged Natalie myself, but then again that’s me.  At this point Shambo decided she would be just as stupid as everyone else that has ever played this game and share the clues to the location of the hidden immunity idol.  Of course Shambo had no idea that Evil Russell had long ago found it and shared that info with half of the tribe already, but nonetheless it was a dumb move.  Then we got the requisite shot of Shambo trying to get as far inside of the hollowed out tree stump in search of the idol.  She announced that it just was not in there and then Liz said that she saw Russell fooling around in there once.  Liz then made the mistake of confronting Evil Russell.  Never accuse a liar of being a liar.  It just pisses them off more.  The best thing you can do Liz is force his hand.  Make him play it.  Either that or start up a little romance and see if you can sneak it out of his pocket.  Note to the producers:  please do not show this on camera.


Back at Galu, which by the way makes me think of Gary Gnu with the Gnews, the steaks and sausage were ready, but the fire was not.  Dave decided that he would sit there grumpily and whine about how no one was asking him to make the fire since he and his awesomeness were the only ones capable of doing so.  This led to a bizarre conversation, if you can call it that, between Nice Russell and Dave.  Russell essentially said he wanted Dave’s help, but Dave refused because he said he was not specifically asked.  Oh please guys, you are on a frakkin’ island with zero food and a monsoon on the way.  Just kiss and make up and get the dang fire started.  This is no time for a pissing contest.


So, at this point I looked up and saw Brett, to which the only natural response was “who the hell is Brett?”  But I digress yet again.  Dave came over and using every bit of his awesomeness started the fire.  Soon, steaks and sausages were being consumed by all.  Nice Russell proclaimed the giant hunk of meat was all he needed for the next challenge.


Speaking of the next challenge, it was held in a driving thunderstorm.  The rains began to fall long before the challenge began and in fact, Dave had a tough time getting his tree mail for fear of stepping in water.  There was really no pint in worrying though as there were very few steps he could take anywhere without being in ankle deep water.  Side not to Russell:  do you remember when I told you that you should have taken the tarps and not the pillows and blankets?  This is why.

The challenge consisted of two members of each tribe holding a rope with a basket on the end dangling in the air.  The other tribe members were going to be tossing coconuts into the baskets adding more and more weight.  Once both tribe members dropped their coconuts, the game would end.  Ashley was pretty much incompetent as she could not even make a single basket.  Galu quickly filled the baskets of Foa Foa and Evil Russell dropped his coconuts first.  Liz was still hanging strong and thus proved her worth in a physical challenge.  Alas, the coconuts got the better of her and Liz dropped them and sent Foa Foa to yet another tribal council.


But it was back to camp first where they all huddled together in their tiny little shelter cowering in the storm.  There was no way for anyone to strategize without everyone hearing it because no one was going to be the first to head out in the storm and start something.  They all decided that they would not discuss it at all and would just get to tribal council and make up their own minds.


At tribal council they appeared to be happy to be there and out of the rain for a short time.  The blaze of the fire also was quite pleasing for them.  I have to say that very little was said at this tribal council.  I think Ashley had a good idea that it was either her or Liz that was out of there and deep down I think she was pretty happy to go.  It was miserable there and getting out of it did not seem to bother her.  It was a clean sweep as everyone voted for Ashley, even Natalie who said that she had her back.  How about that? 


Oh Natalie.  How hot does she look when she is soaking wet?  The answer is very.  I don’t know who will be the one that will get injured on next week’s show, but I sure hope it is not Natalie.  Any injury to that body is a crime against nature.  Until next week my friends…





  1. I am impressed that you know about exfoliation.

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