Posted by: lylescott89 | October 30, 2009

Survivor Samoa: Natalie Looks Really Hot in a Bikini

Hey kids,


We had a remarkable episode of Survivor last night and not just because of the wonderful shots of Natalie in her bikini.  And not because of the shots of Monica’s incredible legs and brief shots of her picture perfect ass either.  No, it was remarkable also for the sheer entertainment value of watching stupid people do and say stupid things.  A fun episode for sure so let’s get started.


"She’s gonna feel so important and so flattered that she’ll be as deep in my pocket as the lint at the very bottom”. – Erik speaking about Shambo


Erik and the boys on Galu decided the best way to get the four of them to the final four would be to elect Shambo as their leader.  Since the tribe lost Russell last week they were now down to eight members and an even split of men & women.  Erik figured since Shambo was very manly that she would be a perfect part of their plan to pick off all the girls when the time came.  Now, as he explained this I could not help but wonder if it was at all possible to do this without making Shambo and the other ladies suspicious.  Certainly Shambo would see right through this and know that these four goons would immediately vote her out once it was down to the five of them.  She has to see that correct? 


Well, from initial appearances she does not see this, but I suspect the yoga loving ladies do from the way they reacted after the vote.  The guys could have made it less than painfully obvious what they were doing, but then again look who we are dealing with.  Erik has spent most of his time on the island hiding in a tree.  I am going to go out on a limb here (get it?  Erik is in a tree and I said limb?  Ha ha!) and say that Shambo will figure this out and turn the tables on the guys.  Just a hunch, but I think she will talk to the girls or the other tribe once they merge and do this.  What does she have to lose?


Over at Foa Foa Russell continued to have trouble keeping his pants up and Natalie was still as hot as ever.  They seemed to have a newfound outlook and seemed positive that things were going to start going their way now that the other Russell was gone.  Really Foa Foa?  You think that was all it was going to take to break your losing ways?


It was challenge time now and it was a game of concentration with a twist.  There were many items hidden and each tribe member had to find the matches.  What made it interesting was that there were dummy items that had no match and that the tribes could choose to forfeit the point for making the match and keep the item.  It was time for Shambo to put her new leadership skills to the test and it was an instant failure.  Shambo decided to sit herself out of the challenge along with Dave & Kelly.  Jeff told Shambo that since she was sitting out that she had to pick someone that was playing to have the power to make the decisions in the challenge.  Shambo picked Erik which seemed like a decent enough choice to me.  However, Dave started immediately yelling at Shambo and telling her Brett.  Shambo told Jeff “I stand Corrected” and then chose Brett.  Atta girl Shambo, way to show off those leadership skills you learned in the Marine Corps.  I can’t imagine the Marines were all that proud of her at that moment.  I can only hope she did a better job in the military.  Can you imagine how well this exchange would go over in the Marines?  My knowledge of the Marine Corp is pretty much limited to reruns of Gomer Pyle, but I am guess it may have gone something like this:


Sgt Shambo:  Today we will take a 10 mile hike through the swamp.


Private Dave:  No!  A two mile jeep ride through the city and ending at a strip club.


Sgt Shambo:  I stand corrected.  Two miles in a jeep and a stop at a strip club.


Colonel Jeff:  Sgt Shambo!  You are in big trouble mister.


Sgt Shambo:  I am a woman sir.


Colonel Jeff:  Really?


Anyway, I was really hoping that the teams would have a bigger problem deciding to forfeit the points and take free stuff to help them out at camp, but other than Galu’s decision to take a fire starting kit no one took anything.  I guess the appeal of a ride on a pirate ship and some hot brown grub was too much too resist.


I have to say that the producers did a pretty good job of making this more dramatic than it probably was in real life.  If only they could have had it raining that would have been prefect.  Actually it would have been great if they had some more slo-mo shots of Natalie and Monica walking around.  I mean, did you see those shorts on Monica?  They looked as though they were painted on her.  It was fantastic.


Ultimately Galu won, as they always seem to do, and it was up to Shambo to make another decision.  This time she had no problem at all picking who had to miss out on the grub and spend some time at Foa Foa.  Shambo chose Laura, who is apparently her nemesis.  Kelly was not happy with this, but one has to wonder how she would have felt of Shambo had chosen her.  Kelly’s comparison of Shambo being a girl that suddenly got out of a trailer park was pretty darn funny.


Our friends at Galu were then taken out to what appeared to be the recycled pirate ship from Pirate Master a couple of years ago.  When you talk about the dumbest ideas for a reality show Pirate Master has to be included along with such classics as Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire, Armed & Famous, and Welcome to the Neighborhood (which was so bad it never actually aired).  After raising some sails and taking some turns at the wheel, Galu was finally able to eat.  The stew looked hot and brown and had way too many mushrooms, but the bread looked delicious.  I can imagine they were all a little sick when it was all said and done. 


Back at Foa Foa Laura and Russell had themselves a little talk.  Now I never know when Russell is telling the truth being that he has lied so much so far.  He began telling Laura about how his father was a minister and how he had twin girls.  Is this real or is Russell playing the game to its fullest?  I would guess the latter based on Laura telling Russell that she had a degree in women’s ministry, but did not want to be a pastor since she did not feel that was a woman’s place in the church.  Oh crap, I thought.  She said it.  She said the one thing that sets off my lovely wife Donna.  Donna took it well though dismissing Laura and not saying much.  Phew.  I thought I was in for a long talk and never going to get to the end of the show.  But seriously, if Donna is not going to say anything I will.  Laura, you are a disgrace to all women everywhere.  To think that a woman is not capable of being a pastor at a church or that somehow Jesus looks down on this sort of thing is absolutely ridiculous.  You are a dope and should be ashamed of yourself.  I feel better now.


Where was I?  Oh, Russell and Laura on the beach.  Okay, so they seemed to be making a pact to take each other to the final two, but I got the feeling that Laura was a little suspicious of Russell.  After all his tribe was way down in the numbers and he was looking for an ally to save his butt.  She has to see this, right?


Back at Foa Foa camp Laura decided she needed to repeat the word Harley about 100 times in describing how she and her husband were really cool Christians.  As Laura and Natalie chatted, Liz continued to work on the fire and continually had smoke in her face.  I think the smoke may have been coming out of her ears as well as she fumed about how they were sitting there doing nothing while she worked.  She complained to Russell, but he dismissed her for being an idiot.  Russell does not really like anyone.


It was time for the immunity challenge and since it was a challenge involving water we got the delicious sight of Natalie in her bikini.  I am telling you that Natalie is one hot and sexy woman.  Just wait and see how well she cleans up at the reunion show in December.  Of course, we also got Monica in a bikini which is also a plus.


The challenge involved rowing a boat and fishing out pieces of a fish puzzle from the water.  Natalie looked magnificent as she leaned over the side of the boat in her attempts to get the puzzle fish.  The best part of the challenge was Shambo giving Dave moral support by yelling that he could do it and Dave responding by telling Shambo to shut up.  Priceless!  Dave was doing his best at fishing and Shambo can be very annoying when she yells.  Maybe it was the mullet yelling?  On the Foa Foa boat Jaison was essentially useless.  He knew himself that he cost his team with his failure in the water and his inability to help with the puzzle.  He just stood there, exhausted, and watched.  It was sad.  Foa Foa had lost again. 


Russell thought long and hard about whether or not to vote off Jaison.  He brought his ideas to the forefront, but was seemingly undecided going to tribal council.  Jaison had just let the team down in a big way.  They had the lead and could not hold it, which is pretty indicative of the entire season. 


At Tribal Council, Jeff had the best opening line of all time.  Jeff stared by saying that there was no need to go over each and every dismal fact on the failures of Foa Foa right before he proceeded to go over each and every dismal fact on the failures of Foa Foa.  I had to pause the show and laugh.  Jeff is such a kidder.  No, I want tell you kids how you screwed up, but instead I will tell you kids how you screwed up.  He told them they had one of the worst overall performances ever in Survivor history.  Again, priceless! 


Jaison sat there defeated and exhausted as the rest of the tribe talked about how they all trust each other and they are still strong despite their dismal failures.  He acted like he was doomed and did everything possible except beg to be voted out.  In the end though, Liz was unanimously blindsided and made her exit.  I am sure Russell was pleased with that.


Next week the tribes will merge.  Will the old Galu quickly take out the remaining Foa Foa members before turning on themselves or will Laura and/or Shambo jump ship and make a mess of things?  Stay tuned.





  1. Laura and Shambo are too stupid to see the light. Pretty much everyone, with the exception of Evil Russell, do not know how to play this game.

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