Posted by: lylescott89 | December 18, 2009

Survivor Samoa: Goodbye Mullet

Hey kids,


Before we get to discussing Survivor I want to tell you about something that happened last night.  I was at a dinner at the Olive Garden.  We were a large group and so was the table next to us.  Because we were a party of more than eight and 18% gratuity was added to the checks.  No problem.  Well, the old bag at the table next to us had a problem.  She started complaining and said that a tip was optional and refused to pay it.  Not sure why she had such a problem as the server was great and I saw her doing oodles of things for that table.  Nonetheless she threw a fit and refused to pay it.  I guess they took it off her bill, but they should not have as they essentially left the server without a tip at all.  People are such assholes.


Now, on to last night’s episode of Survivor:  The show started on kind of an odd note with Brett quoting scripture to my Natalie.  Now, I have never thought of quoting scripture to pick up a girl, but it seemed to work for Brett.  Natalie seemed completely enthralled by his ability to quote Bible passages.  I have no idea if he was quoting anything correctly or not and maybe Natalie did not either, but it seemed to impress her.  I wonder if it was wrong of me to stare at Natalie’s legs as she got herself comfy while Brett quoted Ephesians.  Probably not since she has really hot legs and that is perfectly natural.  It was clear to me that these two find each other attractive which will be important later in the show.  Obviously I know what he sees in her so someone else will have to explain to me what about Brett is appealing.


Russell began to complain about Shambo’s hair.  Finally someone has realized that she has a mullet!  Russell said that her hairstyle went out in the 70’s and she needed to shave herself bald.  I agree.  She looks ridiculous.  Then again Russell also accused her of hiding food in her hair and while I have no doubt there are many things lost in that mullet I cannot imagine that she would actually eat anything she had hidden in that mess.


Then we got to the reward challenge where we had more fun with the mullet.  Jeff asked Shambo how long she had been wearing that hairstyle and she said she had it since 1986.  23 years of mullet.  As Shambo said, you don’t mess with perfection.  I don’t know exactly why, but in an odd way you kind of have to admire her devotion to a dead and very embarrassing hairstyle. 


The reward challenge was basically a giant game of kerplunk using ropes and coconuts instead of plastic sticks and marbles.  Each player pulled a stone out of a handy bag that Jeff had with him and whoever pulled the purple and yellow stones got to be the captains as they split into two teams of three.  Natalie & Russell became the captains and Natalie got to choose first.  Naturally she chose Brett.  What?!?!  She chose Brett?  The other former Foa Foa members and Shambo were beside themselves.  Why would she pick Brett?  Well, for starters she likes him and she thinks he is cute so if she is going to win a reward challenge and spend the night enjoying a Samoan feast don’t you think she would rather be with him than with Shambo or Mick?  Dummies!


This is where it got really weird and I do mean really weird.  Natalie also ended up with Mick on her team and she told him not to worry about winning because she and Brett were “prayer warriors”.  Natalie led them all in prayer asking the Lord to bless them with a victory in the kerplunk challenge.  Okay I certainly can understand someone praying for health or for safety or for food for the homeless or for women accusing you of infidelity to stop coming out of the woodwork and just shut up, but for help in winning a silly little game on a reality TV show?  Natalie, you are so hot but you are not thinking straight.  God does not care whether or not you win this challenge.  God does not care if the Colts or Saints go undefeated or who wins the World Series or Stanley Cup.  This is not the purpose of God or of prayer as far as I know.  That would be like me praying for my car suddenly to have the ability to fly so I can get home faster.  I could have all the faith in the world and it is not going to happen.  I am pretty sure God was laughing at your silly little prayer and not only caused your defeat after giving you a false sense of security, but by also giving Shambo the ability to be clairvoyant once again and correctly predict the number of coconuts that would fall when your team pulled out a rope.


Russell, Jaison and Shambo and went off to meet the Samoans (BTW, would that be a great title for a movie or what?  Coming soon to a theatre near you:  Meet the Samoans.) and partake in their feast.  Lobster, fish and a big old pig were on the menu and naturally they “pigged” out.  (Sorry)  Most of the Samoans were taken aback by the mullet and many of the children were frightened.  One of the elders had a vivid 80’s flashback and never recovered.  Okay, just kidding, but it was a mostly uneventful reward.  They talked a bit about why Natalie picked Brett and so one, but nothing major happened.


Back at camp Brett suggested they just relax, pick up some snails and go down to the beach and watch the sunset.  Mick said he was about to suggest the same thing.  I think Brett would have preferred to take Natalie without Mick tagging along, but whatever.  She is still hot and fun to look at.


When our trio returned Russell got Natalie aside to talk to her and she told him that it was no big deal, just a strategic move and she was still with him 100%.  Russell seemed okay with this and told the others not to worry.  The idea was to get rid of Brett unless he won the immunity challenge and if he did, Mick would be gone.


The immunity challenge consisted of two main parts.  First each player had to count up a variety of items, such as pigs, octopus & coconuts.  Then once they had the numbers they would put them into a combination lock and if correct it would open.  Once opened it would release a big stick which the player would use to smash a tile and win.  For Russell it did not matter who won as long it was not Brett.  Well, guess who won?  Brett.  Way to throw a monkey wrench into the game Brett!


Mick was the next to go according to their earlier statements, but something happened.  Russell finally started to realize how disgusting Shambo really was and started making the move to get her ousted.  Russell described her as having “ass breath” and complained about her getting in his face when she talked to him.  Shambo saw Jaison talking to Russell and made her move, but as she came closer Jaison walked away.  Shambo did not take this well at all.  Russell blew her off saying that Jaison was angry about Bret winning immunity and somehow it worked.  Russell is the master of lies.


At tribal council we got to see the lovely Monica on the jury and holy crap does she clean up nicely.  She looked way hot.  I missed her on this episode, but seeing her all cleaned up at the end was just wonderful.  Russell again got cocky and wore the immunity idol around his neck and when Jeff asked if he wanted to play it, since this was the last tribal council that he could play it, Russell just said no and said he would keep it as a souvenir.  Cocky ‘til the end, that’s Russell.


Shambo was looking a little surprised as her name was continually called out by Jeff, but to her credit she left in a classy way.  Even in her closing comments she still did not seem to get it at all.  She seemed to think she was voted out because she was once with Galu, but I don’t think that mattered or even came into thought.  They just did not like her.  No one ever did.  They just used her and when they were done they dumped her.  Sounds like Tiger Woods.


So who will win on Sunday’s finale?  Clearly I am rooting for Natalie since she is amazingly hot and I cannot wait to see her cleaned up.  However, no one has ever played the game as well as Russell and he is the odds on favorite to win if the jury were to think about it for a minute or two.  Sure, some may vote against him for lying and being an ass, but that’s how you win.  Sunday will reveal all.





  1. The attraction of Brett – He’s cute, like a puppy. Everyone loves puppies. Did you notice that he is the only male without massive amounts of facial hair? Again, it’s that puppy thing. I wish I were a fly on the wall watching Shambo watch this show. Do you think she picked up on all the put-downs about her?

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