Posted by: lylescott89 | April 23, 2010

Possibly the Best Survivor Episode Ever

Hey kids,

 

Before I break down last night’s amazing episode of Survivor I need to tell you that I went and tried the new Double Down at KFC.  I got the grilled chicken as opposed to the fried because the grilled at KFC is better tasting than the fried in my opinion.  As expected the sandwich was very messy, but delicious.  You have these two large breasts in your hands and you desperately do not want them to slip away.  In between the breasts is some sort of sauce and bacon.  For my tastes there could have been two more slices of bacon, but overall I give the breasts my approval and we all know that I am a breast expert.  The price, however, was much too high to make this a common pleasure.  I did not think the value was there for what I got.  There is a high price to pay for large breasts and that is a valuable lesson to learn.

 

So what in the world happened last night?  That was crazy.  So many stupid moves in such a short time it was unbelievable.  Let’s look at each stupid contestant one at a time, shall we?

 

  • J.T. – He now has to go down in history as making one of the dumbest moves in Survivor history.  He’s right up there with James getting ejected with two immunity idols in his possession and Erik giving up immunity to Natalie.  He gave the immunity idol to Russell last week and set up his own demise this week.  J.T. said so many stupid things last night that it’s hard to keep track of them all.  Worst of all he got key info from Sandra via Rupert and ignored it.  He never saw the signs or if he did he just refused to believe them.  Did he not know something was up when Parvati so easily gave up on the immunity challenge?  The way she stepped down basically said to all “I am safe tonight because I have an idol”.  Did he ever think that Russell was on the villains’ tribe for a reason?  He is a fool and he got what he deserved. 
  • Amanda – Amanda is possibly the all time worst liar.  Parvati could see right through her when she told Parvati to play her idol.  Her eyes and body language had “I’m lying” written all over it.  If she really thought about it there was a much better way to play this.  I’m not sure what it was, but if I think of it I’ll tell you.
  • Parvati – First of all she told Amanda that she had an immunity idol which was just plain dumb.  You don’t show that stuff to the enemy.  Frankly I have never figured out why so many players are so eager to tell everyone what they have found, but maybe there is just so little to do out there that they get bored and start talking.  As mentioned earlier she gave up on the immunity challenge way too easily and played her hand, but thanks to J.T. being an idiot it worked out for her.  But why play both immunity idols at Tribal Council?  Now she has none and for what?  To keep Jerri & Sandra around?  She doesn’t even like Sandra and has said before that she is afraid Sandra will flip sides.  Maybe you give up one, but not both.  Now the other thing was that Russell did not know she had two idols and she has now made Russell angry.  When you are on Russell’s bad side it has been shown in the past the past to be a very bad thing.  Russell will have a talking to her next week.
  • Candace – Why oh why did you give up on the immunity challenge leaving two villains to fight it out?  You were not a target and you probably knew it, but why give up so easily?  Have some pride and take one for your team.
  • Coach – Yes, I realize Coach was voted out two weeks ago but we must endure seeing him on the jury so I can call his moves dumb too.  Coach there is no reason to come to the jury bare chested.  I know you are the Dragon Slayer and all, but the kimono and feathers look works for you.  Stick with that.
  • Russell – I about crapped my pants when you handed that idol over to Parvati.  You had just handed the girl the game until she screwed it up later by ridding herself of both idols.  Also, you are a lousy actor to everyone in the world except J.T.  How he did not realize that you swearing on your children meant nothing is beyond me.
  • Colby – I’m still annoyed at you for telling the jury in Season 2 to vote for Tina and then being happy when you lost.
  • Sandra – You are hated by everyone on the Villains tribe and you tried to give some good info to Rupert, but it was not enough.  You realize that you are the first villain to go if they are able to get rid of all the heroes first, correct?  Why not flip and vote with Rupert and the gang.  Why not try to play up and get cozy with the villains and figure out their plans and get rid of Russell?  You hate Russell.  You have hated Russell since day one.  If you could have gotten the info over to Rupert that Russell gave his immunity to Parvati then you could have pulled an awesome blindside.  You blew it, but it’s not too late.  You can redeem yourself next week.  Switch sides Sandra.  You are really not a villain.  I never could figure out why you were on that tribe.
  • Danielle – You are Parvati’s large breasted puppet with a really cute ass and a stupid looking tramp stamp.  Getting that tattoo was pretty dumb.  Kudos though for coming down of that giant pole with your left boob hanging out.  I still can’t figure out why the good stuff gets blurred.
  • Coach – My God man, put on a dang shirt!
  • Jerri – Where is the evil Jerri of Australia?  You are just too darn wimpy now.  Perhaps it is your new strategy, but I think you are just getting old and tired and want to go home.
  • Rupert – You took the info from Sandra and you believed her.  Good move.  Now trust her some more and get her over to your side and take out Russell.  You could have done a little better in convincing your tribe of what was really going on, but alas I don’t think J.T, would have believed it.  There was no convincing him at all.

 

So there you have it.  An overall fantastic episode and I cannot wait for next week. 

 

Namaste

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Responses

  1. Morons. They are all morons. What more can one say?


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