Posted by: lylescott89 | May 27, 2010

How to fix the Government

Hey kids,

 

Everyone seems to have an opinion on how to fix the government, but they are all wrong.  I have the plan on how to fix congress and I am going to share it with you today.  Perhaps it is a little radical, but in the long run it will work and we will get smarter members of congress, better benefits for all Americans and less spending overall.  It will be a complete government overhaul by 2016.  Why 2016?  Well, because it is too late to do anything immediately and that is a shame.  Senators are elected for six year terms and thus any elected this year will be able to fulfill their terms.  But, I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me hit the high points:

 

  • This all starts with the 2012 elections.
  • President Obama will be allowed to run for re-election as he is an incumbent president and an eight year term is not out of the ordinary.  However, if someone else wins in 2012, he/she will only be able to serve one term.  The 2016 presidential election will be fair game, provided you meet the criteria.
  • All future members of the house and senate as well as the president must pass an IQ test prior to running for office.  Any viable candidate must score at least 125 to be allowed to run.
  • Most current politicians claim family values, but very few of them actually have any clue as to what real family values are.  The definition of family values depends on what family you are talking about.  Thus the words “family values” will not be allowed in any campaign.  Any candidate that states those words will be automatically disqualified.
  • No politicians allowed.  All future candidates must not have any political experience at all.  No governors, so mayors, no state senators, no dog catchers, etc.  If you have served in any kind of office you are out.
  • No millionaires.  Wealthy people are not allowed to run for any office.  Since the majority of this country is hard working middle class people then we should be represented by our peers and not the filthy rich.
  • If a candidate has cheated on his wife, is gay or has had an abortion we don’t care.  Do whatever you want as long as it is not illegal and it will not come back to bite you in the butt.
  • Any official that is not up for re-election this year will be able to finish his/her term, but then they are done.  Thus if a senator has a term ending in 2012 he/she will find that to be the end of the road.  No more for you.
  • It will be illegal to say anything disparaging about your opponent in any campaign ads.  You must praise your opponent even if they suck.  Much like when the coach of an NFL team speaks about his next opponent.  That opponent may be the Detroit Lions, but the coach still has good things to say before he rips into them for 42 points.
  • There will be a set spending limit on funds to be used on campaigns and it will be capped very low.  You can raise money to help pay for your campaign, but don’t you dare raise or spend more than the $100,000.00 cap.  If you do you will be disqualified.
  • In the transition period from 2012 – 2016 the current politicians will treat all the newcomers with complete respect and not give them any crap to make them jaded.  Yes they will work together, but socializing will be forbidden.
  • All the same criteria must be used when the president picks his/her cabinet and for all Supreme Court appointees.
  • By 2016 we will have completed the transition.  We will have a new middle class president, 100 middle class senators and a house filled with newbies.
  • It will be illegal for any member of congress to vote themselves a raise.  If your constituents approve it you can get a raise.  If you are re-elected you can get a raise as that is considered a vote of confidence.
  • Homeless people will be encouraged to run for office with the exception of those that have already served of course.
  • If you have ever been a member of any group calling itself a tea party you are not qualified.  Your IQ is probably lower than Forrest Gump anyway so that really will not be an issue.
  • There will be no more republicans and no more democrats.  Everyone runs as an independent candidate.  If your beliefs sway too far either direction you will be disqualified. 
  • If you have to wait for God to tell you what to do in order to make a decision you are disqualified.  Same goes for coin flippers and straw pullers.
  • If your last name is Palin or Bush you are not eligible.  Again, the whole IQ would knock you out anyway so no big deal.
  • No president is allowed to visit Camp David until spending at least one full year in office.

 

These are just the highlights of how to fix the government, but I think it is a good start.  If we do this we can become a country to be proud of again.  We can make everyone happy except for the filthy rich that will no longer get all their tax cuts because I am guessing that a congress full of middle class and homeless Americans will tax the hell out of them.

 

Namaste

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Responses

  1. I think that is a good plan and it will work.


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