Posted by: lylescott89 | June 11, 2010

Colorado Part I: Getting There

Hey kids,


I have returned from a weak of relaxing and rejuvenation in Colorado.  Did you all miss me?  I know you did, but thanks for saying so anyway.  I figured I’d tell you about my trip and thus I will share with you one leg of my journey at a time.


It was Wednesday, June 2nd, and I had a 6:45 PM flight with a connection in Houston before arriving in Colorado Springs.  I was scheduled to get into CS at 10:30 PM, but more on that later.  Let’s start at the airport where there is always an assortment of hot babes and the incredibly stupid.  After getting dropped off I was able to check my bag without any trouble.  There was even a very nice lady from the airline there to help me.  Then it was time to go through security, which I always dread because I seemingly have to take off most of everything on my body and put it through the scanner.  Why don’t we just all lay down on that little conveyor belt and scan us whole.  It would be so much easier.  Since there were only about a dozen people in line it took no time at all to get to the little conveyor belt, but that is when the trouble began.  Not with me of course, but rather with a little old lady that was barely five feet tall that had all sorts of feather and clips in her hair.  Security told her they had to be removed and while she was okay with that she did say it would not be easy.  I can tell you from standing behind her that she was correct.  As I stood there waiting my turn and cursing the fact that I chose this line I noticed her taking pin after pin and feather after feather out of her head.  As she piled them up in the provided dish I was amazed at her ability to fill the top of her head with so much junk.  When she finally finished her hair was still in the exact same position.  It never moved.  She must have had an entire bottle of hairspray holding it in place. 


As I moved through easily I got my shoes back on and decided to look for something to eat.  There was a restaurant that looked appealing.  I don’t recall the name, but I do know that it was named after a famous golfer.  Now I can only name three or four pro golfers off the top of my head and I don’t think it was any of those.  Hmm, let me see if I can name them really quickly:  Jack Nicholson, Arnold Palmer, Bobby Jones and Tiger Woods.  The restaurant may have been Ben Hogan.  Does that ring any bells?  Regardless, it was incredibly expensive and I chose to look elsewhere.


I wandered over to a place called Jose Cuervo’s Tequiliria to check his menu.  Reasonable prices!  Delightful.  Now I have no idea who this Jose Cuervo guy is, but I can tell you that he makes a fine taco.  I ordered the two taco plate for $7.99 and a glass of tea.  For some reason Jose charged extra for sour cream, but I gladly paid it because what’s a soft taco without it?  The tacos were big and quite filling.  I chose my seat based on the view.  My personal view was that of an incredibly hot babe reading Style Magazine.  She had nice big boobies and sexy legs.  After she left I noticed an attractive butt as well.  She had the whole package.  She was drinking something out of a fancy glass and it was either yellow or green.  I just can’t remember.  1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 Oh crap I fell asleep.  Well, she was hot and that’s all you really need to know.


I finished my tacos and by this time the plane was ready for boarding.  So, I boarded.  OF course they like to board by seat numbers which leads to the inevitable 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  Dang it!  …the inevitable hoverers. 


What are the hoverers you ask?  Those annoying people that have seats on the plane, but their seats have not been called yet and they just hover around the boarding area so they can try to get in line first.  Idiots.  We’re all getting on the plane eventually and our seats or assigned so why hover?


The flight was mostly uneventful and we actually left a few minutes early, but then came Houston.  Do you remember a TV show in the 70’s called Then Came Bronson?  That show suddenly flashed into my head when I wrote that last line. 


In Houston we landed at a gate that was as physically far away as possible from my connecting gate.  Fortunately I had plenty of time to get there.  When I arrived the plane was listed as on time.  Great!  I had already eaten so I just settled in and waited as I knew we’d board in about 20 minutes.  Wrong again tubby!  First of all I have to tell you that this particular terminal at IAH was the warmest airport I had ever experienced.  It was downright hot.  I goofed around with my phone as I waited and waited and waited.  We eventually started boarding the plane about 25 minutes late, but I was happy to be on the move.  Well, that did not last long.  As we backed away from the terminal we were informed that we were now 16th in line for takeoff.  16th in the frickin’ line!  Do you have any idea how long that takes?  I don’t because I don’t wear a watch, but it seemed like an eternity.  It had to be at least 45 minutes based on the chatter I heard throughout the cabin. 


When we were finally in the air we were told by the captain that there were some sever storms to the west and we would have to go a roundabout way to our destination.  Next thing I know we are flying northeast over Louisiana.  I could see the storm in the distance out my window and the lightning was spectacular.  I watched it for a long time and then came the turbulence.  Oh my there was a lot of turbulence.  The plane was shaking, children were crying and a small blonde haired woman with a ring in her nose, much like a cow, screamed twice.  The captain announced it was too rough for the flight attendants to serve any drinks.  We waited it out and finally got some sodas.  By this time I was hungry again and the flight attendant was nice enough to offer me three bags of pretzels.  Not the best pretzels ever, but they did the job.


We finally landed in Colorado about an hour or so late and that’s when the most amazing thing happened.  I went downstairs to get my luggage off the carousel and I saw it coming out of the hole in the wall.  It was my bag and it was the first one off of the plane.  That’s never happened to me before and probably will not again.


I stepped outside to wait for my ride and found it delightfully cool.  It was about 56 degrees out and it was spectacular for me as I sat there in my t-shirt and shorts.  My friend Ken arrived about 10 minutes later and we headed to his home which would be mine for the next few days.  I was exhausted and went right to bed, though I did not sleep particularly well. 


What happened the next morning when I got up?  Be sure to look for part 2 of this incredible saga.




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