Posted by: lylescott89 | February 4, 2011

Always have a Plan

Hey kids,

I had to have lunch today at the Winghouse as I was desperate to try the Fiesta Burger.  Be looking for that review over here in the near future.  I have several points that came to my feeble mind as my lovely wife and I sat there enjoying lunch.  I was reminded of something I used to do as a child shortly after I saw a guy pat a waitress on her ass.  No, I never went around patting girls on the ass as a child.  Just hold on, it will all make sense eventually.  (And yes, for you perverts out there the waitress did have an incredible ass)

First of all I was shocked to see it happen and then I was even more shocked when she did nothing about it.  I casually inquired if she knew the guy and she said no.  He was nothing to look at so I can’t imagine she really wanted anything to do with him.  The whole situation confused me because I know that if I ever tried something like that I would immediately be brought up on charges and thrown out of the restaurant without my burger.  Donna agreed and added that I would also need to find a new place to sleep that night.

This is where the story really begins.  I told Donna that I knew exactly what I would do if I was thrown out of the house.  She looked at me inquisitively as she often does and asked me to explain.  I said that no matter where we lived I always scoped out reasonably priced and nice hotels with weekly rates should she ever throw me out of the house.  I just figure that it was just inevitable so I should always be prepared.  After being married almost 22 years it has not happened yet, but one never knows.  She looked at me and completely understood.  After all she knows me very well.  (My mind is a scary place kids.  Do not enter!)

I then explained that when I was a kid I always was very careful to pay attention to my surroundings whenever my parents took me someplace.  I carefully scoped out the roads and had it all planned out how to get back home should they forget about me and leave me high and dry.  So whether we went to Maas Brothers, the movies or the beach I always made sure to know the way home so if they left me there I could walk.  Again, I figured it was an inevitability so I planned ahead.  It’s really not that crazy a plan when you think about it although Donna did find this a tad bit odd.

So then I noticed a sign saying that this would be a great place to watch Super Bowl XLV.  I heartily disagree.  I can think of nothing worse than trying to watch the Super Bowl while being surrounded by the noise of a restaurant and 100 or so other people having their drunken conversations.  Can you imagine?  For my money the only place to watch the Super Bowl (or any football game for that matter) is in the comfort of your own home with limited distractions.  I certainly don’t want to be distracted by the noise from the kitchen.  I want to hear the sounds of the game and the commentary by the announcers.  The whole concept of a Super Bowl party eludes me.  Those people don’t care about the game.  Real fans watch intently.  No party noises please.

Speaking of the Super Bowl this year will mark the 18th consecutive year in which I completely miss the halftime show.  I have mentioned before my disdain for the glitz of the halftime show.  If they just threw out a good marching band I’d watch, but as long as they continue these ridiculous and long winded spectacles I am out of there.  Yes, I am an old curmudgeon and I am proud of that.

So who is my Super Bowl pick?  Well since I despise the Steelers with their stupid towels, alleged sexual offender QB and idiotic emblem on only one side of their helmet (how stupid is that?) I think you can guess.  I have a serious problem in that neither team has cheerleaders, but we all can’t be intelligent enough to put beautiful women on the sidelines.  Go Packers!



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