Posted by: lylescott89 | February 15, 2011

Sheila Take a Bow

Hey kids,

Please forgive my absence of late.  I have been held down by the dreaded flu bug, but am finally getting better.  I never get a flu shot because every time I do I end up with the flu.  I last had the flu in 2004 after I had my flu shot and vowed at the time never to get another.  I suppose there is no way of knowing whether I would have gotten sick if I had the shot, but I’m pretty sure I’d have gotten it either way.

Another Super Bowl has come and gone and thankfully the vile Steelers came up with a big loss.  I had only come down with the flu the night before the game and was afraid I would miss it.  I slept virtually all day Sunday and was up in time to see Sam Elliott introducing the teams.  Gosh it was so disappointing to not see any cheerleaders on the sidelines.  Please do not let this happen again.

Anyway, I watched the game with a delicious dinner of crackers and ginger ale.  Yummy.  I was completely underwhelmed by the commercials, as usual, and was insulted by more than one of them.  I just hate those ads in which guys go and do stupid things for a friggin’ Bud Light.  There are better beers out there people.  I know I don’t drink, but I have been told by many that Bud Light is not the be all and end all of beers.  I also vaguely recall a commercial where a couple on a park bench assault a woman sitting next to them.  Sorry, but that’s not funny in any circumstance and I have no idea what product they were even trying to sell.

But now that the game is history and the Packers have won their 13th NFL Championship and fourth Super Bowl where do we go?  I certainly can’t bring myself to watch anything as boring as basketball or golf so it’s just a waiting game until baseball begins.  At least I have the Oscars coming up soon to keep me entertained plus a trip in March to see Lewis Black perform.  I’ll be sure to tell you kids all about that afterwards.

In the meantime I have chosen to delight you with a couple of quick stories that I like to refer to as “Wacky People at Publix”.

The other night while waiting at the deli for some delicious sliced meats and cheeses I was behind an elderly woman.  I should not have been as I got to the number thing seconds before she did, but she shouted that she was there first so I let her grab #78 while I took #79.  When the deli guy called her number she…well let me spell it out for you.

Deli Guy: Number 78?

Elderly woman: Right here.

DG: What can I get for you?

EW: Do you have goat?

DG: Goat?

EW: Yes, goat.  I want some.

DG: Goat…cheese?

EW: Yes.  Goat!

DG: I think so.  Let me check.

EW: Goat!

Well I was laughing at this point because the old goat kept yelling “goat” as loud as she could.  I suppose she may have had tourettes, but regardless it was still funny.

Publix story #2 goes back a few years ago and took place in the parking lot.  I was behind a young kid in what appeared to be some sort of sports car or something like that.  Maybe it was a Chevy Mustang or a Ford Camaro or a Chevette.  Heck I have no idea, but I know it was a car and it was yellow.  He was at the stop sign right in front of Publix where people exit the store.  The kid decided that he did not want to allow anyone in the crosswalk and quickly started going through after what was less than a complete stop.  There was this old guy that had tried to get into the crosswalk and was cut off by the kid in the yellow car.  The old guy got really mad and I could see him fuming when all of a sudden he pulled back on his cart full of groceries and smashed the cart right into the side of the kid’s car.  I can understand the man’s frustration and I know what he did was very wrong, but I still could not help myself from laughing.  You just don’t see old guys smashing their carts full force into cars.  I did not stay to see the aftermath, but when I finished my shopping I did see the police officers outside talking to the kid and the old guy.  I guess I could have offered up my statement, but I had ice cream in the cart.



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