Posted by: lylescott89 | March 11, 2011

Lewis Black: The Rust in God Tour

Hey kids,

I had intended on writing today, but was not sure of the topic.  Would I write about the idiocy of that douchebag Scott Walker and his cronies in Wisconsin?  Maybe I could write about our own douchebag governor here in Florida and the poverty and unemployment he is going to unleash on the state.  Or maybe I could write about that asshole US Rep from NY Peter King and his witch hunts against the Muslims and his apparent infatuation with Kim Kardashian.  But then I got a request.

I don’t usually take requests for this blog although I do sometimes solicit them.  Today I received a request to talk about either my experience or a review of the Lewis Black show in Tampa last night.  I don’t want to give a straight up review and I certainly do not want to attempt to share with you every story he told, but I will give you some highlights.

The Straz Center for the Performing Arts (formerly the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center) is a great place to see a show.  I have seen The Producers there as well as Avenue Q and Spamalot, but this is the first time I have seen a comedian perform there.  I’ll admit that I have seen very few comics over the years, but I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every comic I have seen and last night was no exception. 

I expected a different crowd from those I normally saw at stage shows, but apparently I was wrong.  I really expected a mixed crowd of young and old, but the place seemingly had an inordinate amount of elderly couples dressed in suits and fancy gowns.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I just did not think his appeal stretched that far.  I am not calling myself young by any means and I was probably the oldest person in my particular row, but then again I was in the balcony and the older folks were mostly on the main floor.

I arrived about 30 minutes prior to show time and after paying $6.00 to park (to a very grumpy parking lot attendant) I headed into the theatre.  The ticket taker lady told me to take the elevator to the balcony, which I did, but it was entirely unnecessary as I could have (and should have) taken the stairs.  I guess she figured that I was too fat for the stairs.  I took the stairs when the show was over for those of you too impatient to wait until the end of the story.  The usher, Lisa, showed me to my seat and for about 15 minutes I had the whole row to myself.  Then people started filling in and my comfort level dropped a tad, but it was fine as I had plenty of legroom.

John Bowman was the warm up comic.  According to the guy sitting next to me, let’s call him Steve, Bowman has been Black’s opening comic for a very long time.  Bowman was funny.  He played a little ukulele within his act for comedic effect, but have no fear as he was not a prop comic.  As expected his language was very colorful, but not to excess.  He riffed on their travels, Michael Jackson, the comic cruise they do every year in November and a few other things for about 35 minutes.  I laughed a lot and so did Steve, but the guy to my right was not amused.  He wanted the main act and he would get it in about 20 more minutes after intermission.

As customary, Bowman came back out to introduce Lewis Black.  Black was welcomed with some thundering applause, but as a humble man he said he was not worthy of our praise.  After all, he said, you are all applauding for an “old, angry, Jewish prick”.  That brought out plenty of laughter and more applause.  Black then explained, presumably for the elder crowd he was seeing in the first few rows, that his comedy is not for everyone and he often sees people walk disgustedly out of his shows.  He warned that he better not see that tonight.

This particular tour was called the Rust in God tour, but oddly there was very little religious humor.  He did mention that he often plays the casinos in Wendover, NV and his picture was on the front page of the paper the last time he performed there to warn the people that a Jew was coming to town.  Other than another joke about a born again Christian app for the iPhone that was about it.  Not that I am complaining as the show was very funny, but it was not what I was expecting from a guy that generally goes on incredibly funny and vociferous rants about religion.  (For the uninformed may I suggest picking up a copy of Black’s book, Me of Little Faith, now available in paperback.  It’s a very funny read.)

But Black did not disappoint in his rants about terrorists, airport security, the aforementioned iPhone and his new Droid.  Naturally he also delved into politics and the stupidity of the tea party (I refuse to dignify those morons with capitalization) and their leader, Sarah “Pig” Palin.  He also suggested what we should have done after that witch Christine O’Donnell got nominated in Delaware: invade and take over Delaware because the people there are apparently just too stupid.  He also forgot a portion of his act and made a hilarious bit out of that.  He told the younger people in the crowd something I already knew.  Getting old is not a gradual progression, but rather it hits you suddenly on one random morning.  I remember that day well.  As he said, you’re young, you’re young, you’re young, you’re young, you’re young, you’re young, you’re young and then BAM!  YOU”RE OLD!

Black eloquently got across some very solid points that only the very narrow minded (again, the tea party slugs) could argue.  He said that the entire idea of a health care system for profit is just wrong and said to anyone in the audience that is against health care for everyone is just out and out wrong.  Every other industrialized country has this all figured out except one.  Us.  We are the morons and the idiots that idolize the almighty dollar above all else.  The republicans have done a fantastic job of brainwashing middle class Americans into thinking they work for them when all they want to do is stick screws in you and tighten them as much as they can.  (See Wisconsin)

However, he said that both parties are to blame and he is right.  In his lifetime he said that nothing has changed.  Nothing at all.  We still are fighting over the same crap. (More colorful language was used here and most everywhere else) He used the abortion argument as one example.  He said that in the past 40 or so years all that has changed in that ridiculous argument is that we used to be for abortion or against it, but now we call it pro-choice and pro-life.  It’s ridiculous.  (FYI: Pro-choice is the correct way to go on this issue.  No one has any right to tell a woman what she can or cannot do with her body.  End of story.)  Again, every other industrialized country has this figured out.  Why not us?  For the future he said that for the next 40 years we will see the same arguments over gay marriage with no conclusion.  (Again, it should be legal. Denying people that right to marry is just plain idiotic.  Does it affect you at all? No, so legalize it and get it over with)  Nothing changes.  We spend two years getting a health care program for all Americans and now we’re going to spend the next two years watching people try to get rid of it.  We elect idiots.  We don’t think.  We want instant solutions and when they don’t happen we abandon hope.  We are a nation filled with assholes.

After about an hour and 20 minutes of solid laughter the show came to en end.  It was a great night.  Steve and I laughed harder than we could have imagined and Black even brought us to the dreaded laughter tears a couple of times.  And the guy on my right that did not laugh for Bowman?  He barely registered a chuckle for Black.  Apparently it was all over his head.

When I was headed down the stairs I came across an old woman who was blisteringly drunk desperately trying to get down one slow step at a time.  I was afraid she was going to fall, which would have been tragic, so I stayed near her despite the fact that she smelled like a distillery.  She was wobbling like a Weeble all the way down the stairs, but she did not fall down.

As I made my way out of the parking lot and headed home I was still chuckling at some of the jokes, but when I got home at 11:30 PM I realized that this is not something I should do on weeknights.  I was completely exhausted and it was tough to get out of bed in the morning.   Damn I’m old and it sucks.



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