Posted by: lylescott89 | April 29, 2011

Baffled by a Bumper Sticker

Hey kids,

I am the first to admit that I have often found bumper stickers and vanity plates baffling.  People are trying to tell or sell me something and I often do not understand.  Case in point:  this morning I was behind a very scary looking woman driving a…well, I have no idea what kind of car it was, but that hardly matters.  She had a bumper sticker that read “my sport is what your sport considers punishment”.

First off I have to say that I found this to be quite arrogant and rude, but I had no idea why since I had no idea what she was talking about.  So I spent the rest of my commute attempting to figure out what sport was her sport.  I used deductive reasoning to come up with the following solution:

My sport:  Well I really enjoy baseball and it is baseball season right now so my sport would be baseball.

My punishment:  When a player is bad in baseball he is punished by a fine or by a suspension or both.

Your sport:  Thus the only conclusion I can reasonably come up with is that this woman’s sport was being fined and suspended.  I found this completely odd, but whatever she likes I guess.

Thus I was driving behind a woman who is constantly being fined and/or suspended for one reason or another and she somehow considers this a sport.  Okay, moving on…

Remember the other day when I said that those idiots still would not be happy with the birth certificate that President Obama released?  Well, I was right of course.  I heard a clip of some bozos on Fox Opinion Channel claiming it was forged, photo shopped, etc.  They were having the times of their lives saying it was a fake and would not give up searching for the truth.  Why is it so easy for these ignorant people to believe that a man died on a cross and then magically came back to life, but they can’t believe President Obama was born in Hawaii?  Assholes.  Every single one of them.

I saw something last night that annoyed me as well.  As most of you know just about everything annoys the crap out of me so this should come as no surprise.  Anyway this past week we have seen devastating weather throughout the southeast.  The scenes of the aftermath are as tragic and horrid as the scenes of the tornadoes were astonishing.  So what do the local yokel TV news stations do?  They send reporters up there to report on this.  Yes, the news needs to be told, but this is not a local story and there is no need for local reporters to travel there and use up valuable resources that those areas desperately need.  The local stations in Alabama will cover it.  The networks will cover it.  CNN will cover it.  The Weather Channel will cover it.  Even Fox will cover it although they will blame Obama for everything.  You’d think the fact that they believe Obama has the ability to control the weather should teach those dopes not to mess with him.

I just got interrupted by another call for Sanchez.  Same guy, but this time he got really pissed and told me to stop lying to him because he needed the stuff.  I kept saying “I am not Sanchez”, but he did not believe me.  Perhaps I should check my birth certificate.



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