Posted by: lylescott89 | October 17, 2011

The Time has Come for Occupy Seacrest

Hey kids,

It’s time to make him stop.  Frankly it is past time to do it.  We have to get our country back from the evil smirk of Ryan Seacrest.  Yes kids, it’s time to Occupy Seacrest.

Seacrest has often been described as vanilla, but I am here to tell you that vanilla has way too much flavor for this clown.  Seacrest is plain yogurt.  Quite simply he is a bland vat of nothingness with an annoying smirk.  He has somehow convinced little old ladies across the country that he is perfectly harmless host of a crappy karaoke contest and he must be stopped.  How is he dangerous?  Allow me to give you a few examples:

1. He is responsible for shows like “Denise Richard: It’s Complicated” (Honestly she was never that complicated) and worse, “Keeping up with the Kardashians”.  Seacrest is to blame for the unleashing of the Kardashians on the world and for that he must pay.
2. He has taken over New Year’s Eve from Dick Clark.
3. He hosts the Walt Disney World Christmas Parade.
4. He hosts his own extremely bland radio show in LA.
5. He does those red carpet interviews for E.
6. Co-host of E News.
7. Now he wants his own network, a la Oprah.
8. He dates the extremely hot Julianne Hough.  There is no way he deserves her or any woman that hot.

I could go on, but you get the idea: Seacrest is everywhere and there seems to be no end.  He has to be stopped.  We must start Occupy Seacrest to get him out of all media.  I am not calling for anyone to start stalking him as that’s been done and it was kind of sickening.  I can’t even believe that anyone would have wanted to stalk this cup of plain yogurt with the grin of the devil.  That guy appears to have more issues than Seacrest.

Regardless, Seacrest is trying to take over the world and we cannot let this happen.  With Occupy Seacrest we will

• Create more jobs for Americans by taking away jobs from Seacrest
• Make Seacrest pay higher taxes
• Have Seacrest pay what is called an “Out of my league” tax.  He must pay this tax for every day that he dates a hot babe that is out of his league.  This tax will be retroactive to his first meeting with Julianne Hough.  In addition, Seacrest must pay an additional tax for every kiss he gets from her.  Don’t even get me started on what he’ll have to pay if he gets to have sex with her.  (Please God, do not let that ever happen)
• Have Seacrest open up his home as a shelter for the homeless.  Since he works so much anyway he will never notice.
• Demand that Seacrest apologize to each and every American for every insipid smile and corny joke he has ever made on the air.  The smile apology goes for radio too.

I cannot stress enough that the biggest problem with America today is Ryan Seacrest.  Occupy Seacrest will make the television and radio airwaves safe for Americans once again.  Send Seacrest packing now, but do not harm him in any way.  We are a peaceful movement.  Join Occupy Seacrest.

Namaste

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Responses

  1. I have been saying this for a long time. its good to see someone else is aware of whats going on.


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