Posted by: lylescott89 | December 18, 2012

Sparing you from my Diatribe…well, some of it.

Saying more guns is the answer is like saying you can lose weight by eating more foodHey kids,

I had written an entire diatribe due to my anger over what happened this past Friday, but I have chosen not to publish it. Why you ask? Well, I was really angry when I wrote it and if you know me you already know that I am against guns and I abhor violence so why give the world another chance to send me nasty letters telling my they need to own an assault rifle. It was also very hastily and angrily written and was a bit disjointed. Let me just sum it up for you:

· We need stricter gun laws and all assault weapons need to be banned

  • In 1996 Australia banned assault weapons. In the 18 years prior to this they had 13 mass shootings. Since 1996 they have had none.
  • So you want to blame video games and violent movies for the attacks? In 2010 there were 310 homicides in Detroit, MI. One mile away in Windsor, Canada: zero. Do you really think the people of Windsor don’t see the same movies or play the same video games?

· The 2nd amendment is outdated and has long been misinterpreted

· Quit bitching about God not being allowed in schools. If you believe in God you also believe that he/she is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. Therefore God is always in schools and yet, he/she did not stop 20 children and six adults from being massacred by a madman.  Take that Suzanne Asaturian!

So that is basically what I ranted about for two full pages. I figured you’d like my summary much better and that way we can move on to my normal blabbering nonsense.

In order to help us all feel a little better and somehow get into the Christmas spirit I offer a video for you to enjoy.  Watch it all because the children are cute.


Biff's TutorNow I need to tell you that I was in Starbucks earlier today and I have to say that Starbucks is often filled with a plethora of great stories, yet I only share the best with you. Today there was what appeared to be a teenage boy and his mother sitting and not really enjoying their beverages. The mother, let’s call her Helga, was not happy. It seems that young Biff was not doing well in school this semester and Helga was darn sick and tired of it. So sick and tired of it that she was broadcasting it to everyone in Starbucks. Young Biff was not happy, but he sat silently as Helga berated him. As it turned out Helga was telling Biff that she had hired a tutor from St. Pete College to assist him in his studies. Biff spoke up and said he did not need or want a tutor. Helga said “tough shit”.

At this point Helga’s phone rang and it was the tutor. It seemed as if she was a little confused at which Starbucks they were meeting at so Helga gave her directions. Biff sat at the table with his arms crossed as Helga returned to speak with him. Helga said “when the tutor gets here I am going back to work and I will pick you up in two hours. Pay attention to everything she says and maybe you will learn something”. Biff yawned and stretched, re-folded his arms and stared at the table. He was not impressed. They then sat there silently waiting for “Jessica” to arrive.

A few moments later a young woman, about 20 or so, walked in the door. She was stunningly beautiful, blond and had enormous breasts. She saw the two sitting at the table and said “are you Helga? I’m Jessica”. Biff looked up and suddenly his hatred of having a tutor disappeared. He stood up, introduced himself and told his mother she could leave now. Helga left, Jessica sat and Biff just kind of stared. I’ll be honest; I was staring too, but Biff had a much better view. I seriously wonder how much Biff will actually learn.

And with that in mind, or not because it really doesn’t matter, I give you another of my favorite Christmas songs to get you in the spirit:

One last thing to say, I got my annual holiday gift from my boss today and I could not be less thrilled. It was one of those tacky Chick-fil-a cow calendars. I wrapped it up in a bag and threw it right in the trash. I hate Chick-fil-a and I refuse to give them any of my business or allow them to be promoted via my desk at work. So there!

I’ll probably write something else before the end of the year, but in case I do not I just want to thank all of my loyal readers for their support. You kids are…um…let me think…well, you just are I guess.



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