Posted by: lylescott89 | January 3, 2013

Natalia vs. Math

What the girls at work do with my contributionsHey kids,

One of the many things I hate about work, aside from the fact that it is indeed work and I absolutely despise it, is the constant requests for cash.

“We need your contribution for the bosses birthday/Christmas/bosses day/Purim/San Jacinto Day/Arbor Day/please don’t fire us gift”

And then when that is over we have the…

“We need money for the sunshine club so we can buy cards and cake all year long”

And that is all followed by the inevitable…

“We need your donation because the guy the smokes 20 packs a day and is a heavy drinker is in the hospital and we need to send him flowers”

Bottom line is that I honestly don’t give a crap about anyone I work with and I don’t want to celebrate or feel empathy for any of them. I’m sorry, I just don’t, but still I donate. So today I needed to pay several of these little groups so I could be set and done for the next couple of months. Thus I took a few minutes and went up to the bank to get some cash. That’s where I met Natalia.

I needed to pay $5.00 to three different groups so instead of going to the ATM and getting a twenty and then having to fight for change (trust me it was going to happen) I went inside and figured I could get the exact change I needed. I walked in to a virtually empty bank and was called to the window by Natalia.

Now I will tell you that I was quite pleased as Natalia was quite attractive, but the other teller was at least of equal beauty so in a sense I could not go wrong. Since I only had two bucks in my pocket anyway I decided I’d get $25 in cash. Three fives to hand out to the various money grubbers at the office and a ten for myself to use the next day for lunch.

I swiped my card, entered my pin and told Natalia that I wanted a total of $25; three fives and one ten.
Natalia looked at me and smiled and asked me to repeat that so I did. Then she told me to slow down and she grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. I watched as she wrote out the following:

$5
$5
$5
$15.00

$10
$10.00

Natalia looked up and me and asked me how many fives I needed and I repeated three. Then she asked me how many tens and I said one. Then came this brilliant exchange with Natalia:Not Natalia, but close

Natalia: I thought you said you wanted $25.00.

Me: Yes, $25.00

N: Four fives and a ten?

Me: No, three fives and a ten.

Natalia began to write again. I watched as she wrote the following:

5×3=15

10×1=10

Then she spoke again….

N: How much did you need?

Me: $25.00; three fives and a ten please.

N: Oh you said three fives, I thought you said four.

Me: Oh okay. (Because in Natalia’s world the words three and four apparently rhyme)

So then Natalia handed me my receipt which clearly said that I had withdrawn $25.00 and then proceeded to hand meNot Natalia four fives and a ten. I handed her back one of the fives and she said “I’m sorry, but we do not accept tips”.

At this point I seriously considered banging my head on the glass that separated me from Natalia, but instead of that I explained to her that I was not offering a tip and that she had just given me $30.00 and that was $5.00 more than I withdrew from my account. She looked at the five dollar bill I was trying to hand back to her and then asked to see how many were still in my other hand. I showed her three fives and a ten while simultaneously handing her back the bonus five. She smiled, laughed and decided that I was correct and took back the money. She told me to have a great day and I told her the same.

This whole exchange led to several questions:

1. Is math not a required subject in school anymore?
2. Is knowledge of math no longer a prerequisite for working in a bank?
3. Did the other cute girl have better math skills?
4. Did a man do all the hiring at this bank?
5. How much longer will Natalia have a job?

I hopped back in the car thinking that Natalia owed me a big thank you for being an honest person and not taking the extra five bucks. I arrived back at the office and proceeded to pay everyone for all those ludicrous office things that I want no part of to begin with. They all said they appreciated my contributions. All I can say is that I better get a better dessert for my birthday than I did last year. After all, I’ve already paid for it.

Namaste

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