Posted by: lylescott89 | December 19, 2013

My Favorite Christmas Films

global-warming-sfSpanHey kids,

Every year about this time I am asked the same question: what do you think about people that deny global warming?  Well to put it bluntly I think they are complete idiots that need to stop watching Fox “news” and get their heads out of their asses.  Do you people realize that 97% of the scientific community agrees that humans are causing global warming?  Climate change is real you morons.  You can lie to yourselves and your children all you want, but if you had an inkling of intelligence you’d give props to scientists instead of your own ignorance.  I can’t stand stupidity.

However, that is not what I wanted to talk about today, but I got distracted from an idiot.  Sorry.  Anyway I am always asked what my favorite Christmas movies are at this time of year.  So I figured I’d put it in print for all my fans to enjoy.  I am putting them in order, but you may want to realize that the order could theoretically change from year to year.  That said, the top two never vary.

May I now present to you my top ten favorite Christmas films:

1. Die Hard – I have often said that this may just be the perfect film.  It has everything one could ask for; a hero you can root for, a nasty villain and 80’s hair.  The Nakatomi Plaza is taken over by terrorists on Christmas Eve and only John McClane can save the day.  Yippe ki yay!

2. Die Hard 2 – What are the odds that terrorists would take over an airport on Christmas Eve?  Well, really good ifdiehardchristmas John McClane is there.  Though the villains in this one are not quite as crazed as Hans and his gang, they still do the trick and once again McClane saves the day.  Yippe ki yay again!

3. The Holiday – Though I have never been a Cameron Diaz fan I really enjoy this film.  Kate Winslet and Diaz switch homes for the Christmas Holiday and romance ensues.  Diaz ends up with Jude Law and Winslet hooks up with Jack Black.  No one considers this a classic, but I love it.

4. It’s a Wonderful Life – Yes, it is old and corny as all get out, but I cannot stop watching it.  I really miss the days when this film was public domain and it was on constantly between Thanksgiving to Christmas.  It really is funny because George Bailey is an idealistic socialist and Old Man Potter is the epitome of the current republican party.  And despite Uncle Billy being a dumbass it all works out.

jack_black_in_the_holiday_wallpaper_4_10245. A Christmas Story – I think I have seen this film more than any other.  I have previously shared my experience of visiting the house in Cleveland where the movie was filmed so I will not go into that again.  Even though I did not grow up in Northern Indiana in the 30’s I can still relate to Ralphie and all the trials he had to go through.  The film always makes me laugh.

6. Elf – Will Farrell is hilarious as Buddy, the kid who stowed away in Santa’s bag and grew up an elf.  He finds his way to NYC to find his real father.  Again, this makes me laugh and it also has Zoe Deschanel who looks particularly sexy as an elf at Gimbels.

7. Christmas in Connecticut – Barbara Stanwyck was probably one of our finest actresses and her comedic talents are put on display in this incredibly cornpone and outdated movie.  As Elizabeth Lane, Stanwyck writes a column in a magazine based on her fictional life on a farm in Connecticut.  Since she really lives in an apartment in NYC and cannot cook, her talents are put to the test when she has to host a WWII hero and her boss, Alexander Yardley (Played brilliantly by Sydney Greenstreet)  Of course she falls in love with the war hero and everyone is happy in the end.

8. The Santa Clause – Tim Allen knocks Santa off the roof, puts on his suit and assumes the role of Santa.  This is something I would like to do one day, but I have yet to catch Santa on the roof.  There are a lot of funny moments in this film, but I particularly like the scene where he takes his son to Denny’s on Christmas Eve.  I always laugh when Charlie says “plain milk’s fine”.  However my favorite line in the film is when Scott Calvin is in a meeting at the toy company he works at and says “Well isn’t that a pretty picture, Santa rolling down the block in a PANZER!”  I’m laughing now.

9.  Home Alone – Poor Kevin McCallister misses out on a trip to Paris that he probably did not want to go on to begin552 with.  Yet, he has the time of his life all by himself.  It’s cute, heartwarming and yes, a little cornpone with the old man next door.  Somehow through all of this John Candy steals the show with his creepy polka band.  Plus, bonus points for the scariest Santa ever on the front door of the house.

10.  Scrooged – I love Dicken’s A Christmas Carol and I have seen just about every cinematic interpretation that has been made.  I also read the book every year about this time.  For the money this is still the hands down funniest interpretation I have ever seen.  Bill Murray is at his best and you have the incredibly outdated 80’s hair and clothes to boot.  Plus you have the Solid Gold Dancers, Mary Lou Retton and America’s favorite old fart sitting in front of a fireplace reading a book.  What more can you ask for?

So there you have my ten favorites.  Be on the lookout for Christmas films I despise.  That should be some fun reading.

Namaste

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