Posted by: lylescott89 | May 20, 2014

Vegas 2014: And so it begins…

MGM Grand

MGM Grand

Hey kids,

A few weeks before my trip I had mentioned to someone that I was headed to Vegas.  They responded by telling me that I would not enjoy Vegas because I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I do not gamble.  I called this person an asshole and said they had no idea what they were talking about.  Turns out I was right and he/she/it was wrong.  It is now official; I love Las Vegas.  But every story has a beginning and before we get to the good stuff we have to start there.  In my experience that has always been a fine place.

The journey began late on a Sunday afternoon.  I arrived at the airport, kissed my beautiful wife goodbye and told her I’d see her on Friday.  It took me about two seconds to get my bags checked (they flew free) and head towards security. After getting through that fun time I grabbed a sandwich from Quizno’s for dinner and waited to board.

Whenever I fly alone I always get stuck next to a flatulent fat guy and I was determined not to allow that to happen again.  Just once, I said to myself, I would like to sit next to a smoking hot blonde girl.  I boarded the plane (I was A26 for you Southwest flyers keeping track at home) and headed straight for the exit row hoping it was not yet filled.  I arrived and saw an empty seat on the aisle.  Who was in the middle seat?  A smoking hot blonde girl with gorgeous blue eyes. Yes!  I asked if the seat was taken and she smiled and said no.  I guess losing all that weight was going to pay off tonight.  Her boyfriend had the window seat and I said hello to him as well.  They were both very nice, but I was damn glad he enjoyed looking out the window.

Executive King Suite

Executive King Suite

As we took off I decided it was time to read.  I spent almost the entire flight reading; first the current issue of Entertainment Weekly and then I took out my Kindle and finished “The Fault in our Stars”. (An excellent book that I highly recommend.  Donna refuses to read it)  As I read I could hear the sounds of the people in the row behind us trying desperately to learn the rules of blackjack while drinking Bloody Mary’s.  This was not a good combination.  More on that in a bit.

As I neared the end of my book I will admit that I got a little teary eyed.  Blondie saw me wiping my eyes and asked if I was okay.  I told her the end of the book just got to me.  She asked what I was reading and I told her.  She put her right hand over her left boob (I think she was shooting for her heart, but I saw what I saw) and sighed “I loved that book”.  We talked about it briefly and then we chatted about great places to eat in Vegas.  Oddly enough all of her suggestions ended up being way out of my price range so I never tried any of them.

More Executive King Suite

More Executive King Suite

I then heard a voice behind me tell the flight attendant, Claire, that he wanted another Bloody Mary, but to make it with Wild Turkey this time instead of vodka.  Now I know nothing about drinks, but I do know that mixing whiskey with tomato juice is not a Bloody Mary.  It’s just whiskey and tomato juice and it’s probably gross.  Claire obliged and he had two of those before finally blurting out that he was going to get a tattoo as soon as he got to Vegas.  This guy was way beyond making reasonable choices.  Overall though the flight was pleasant, if a bit wild, but we were headed to Sin City after all and why shouldn’t it be wild.

We landed and I said goodbye to Blondie & Dagwood and disembarked the plane.  I was met with a whole bunch of slot machines and I wondered how much of a degenerate gambler one has to be to walk off a plane & play slots in an airport.  Baggage claim was full of flashing lights, ads for shows and some creepy guy that stood next to me speaking either gibberish or a language that has not yet been invented.  I made my way out to the Super Shuttle and waited about five minutes for the van to arrive.  All the horror stories I had heard about taking over an hour to get out of the airport never materialized.

I sat up front with the driver, Ibu, and I could see it all; the lights, The Strip, the hotels and everything. It was beautiful.  It was my own personal fantasy world that I had been waiting for years to enjoy.  I was alone that first night since Bill & Willy would not arrive until the next morning, but I was not afraid.  I was overwhelmed a little, but not afraid.

Hooters Casino

Hooters Casino

Ibu dropped me off at the MGM Grand and I walked inside.  It was surreal.  I had been waiting so long for this moment and here it was right in front of me.  There was no line for check in so I made my way to the desk where I was assisted by a gorgeous young Asian girl.  “Welcome to the MGM Grand” she said.  I thanked her, gave her my ID and she checked me in.  I asked if the pool was open and she said it closed at 8:00, but I had plenty of options available to me if I wanted something to do.  I knew I would never be bored in Vegas.

I went to my room, the Executive King Suite, and unpacked my things.  The shades were down so I immediately opened them up to see where I was.  I did not get a view of The Strip, but I got a lovely view of the Hooters Hotel & Casino right across the street.  Oh sure I could see the Tropicana, Luxor, etc., but I had a Hooters right out my window.  Some may ask why I did not stay there and I did not because Hooters is an older property and I wanted to go big time for the trip.  Thus, the MGM Grand.

After checking out the room and finding the mini-bar (off limits the entire stay) I went back downstairs.  Donna had told me not to wander The Strip at night so I chose not to do so.  I did, however, walk outside and take a few photos of the MGM Grand at night.  I went back in and decided to explore the hotel.  I got lost.  Several times.  The MGM Grand is, in a word, gigantic.  I kept wandering through the casino and trying to find a place to get a snack, but the casino was huge and it all looked the same to me.  I noticed several things as I wandered like Moses in the desert.

New York New York Hotel & Casino

New York New York Hotel & Casino

1. There were cameras everywhere

2.  Slot machines don’t take coins any more

3.  The pit boss gives you a funny look if you stare at them too long and

4.  The place was filled with smoking hot women in fancy dresses

It was #4 that seemed to distract me the most.  I thought I was going to break my neck, but I survived.  I distinctly recall this one girl in a red dress that…(We’re sorry, but as the saying goes What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas)  I totally could not believe she did that.

I eventually found the food court, had a bite to eat and made my way back up to the room.  It was still early, but I was still on east coast time so I was beat.  I knew I’d be up early in the morning so I texted Donna to let her know I arrived okay and made my way to bed.  I had a big week ahead of me and I knew Monday was going to be incredible.  Was it? You’ll find out soon enough.



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