Posted by: lylescott89 | August 11, 2017

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: CBS

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Hey kids,

Your old pal and mine, Sir Griffin Stromboli, is back with an exclusive look at the new shows from CBS.  Sir Griffin and I had a long conversation last night about keeping his language clean so let’s hope he has settled down a bit.  I know the whole Drumpf thing pisses him off to no end just as it does me and every sane human in the world, but we are not here to discuss that maniac.  Let’s just hope he does not blow up the world so we can actually sit down and enjoy some of these shows with our family.  So without further delay I present you (without foul language) Sir Griffin Stromboli.

(Insert applause, laughter and general merriment here)

Greetings kids!  I am thrilled to be here again to tel you about the CBS fall programming. It was clear that the executives at ABC had no idea what they were doing, but how did CBS fare?  Let’s take a look.

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Wisdom of the Crowd (Premieres 10/1/17) – Here we have a show starring the always incredibly average Jeremy Piven as Jeffrey and a woman I absolutely cannot stand. Monica Potter as Alex.  There are also some other people in the cast that I really have no interest in mentioning.  Essentially the show is about Jeffrey creating a social network to solve crimes.  Apparently his own daughter’s murder has gone unsolved so he figures that the same people that post cat videos can help capture bad guys.  Okay, who came up with this shit?

***Please Sir Griffin, we talked about this.  Sorry kids***

My bad!  I will take the blame.  Sometimes bad TV starring people I don’t like drives me crazy.  Anyway I suppose that this will lead to all sorts of arrests and make the entire police force irrelevant.  Hey, maybe we can throw in a superhero cat that can not only make amazing videos, but can also swoop in to catch the killers.  Odds of me watching this? About the same as me making another attempt to ski.

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9JKL (Premieres 10/2/17) – This alleged sitcom may have the absolute worst title of any show this fall.  Let me see if I can explain this without any foul language.  After watching the seemingly never ending pilot I can tell you that this will not be easy.  Okay, here goes. The show stars Mark Feuerstein as a guy that moves into apartment 9K, which happens to be sandwiched between his parents (Linda Lavin & Elliot Gould) in 9J and his brother, sister in law and newborn baby in 9L.  Oy vey!  The show is loosely based on the life of Mark and his wife, Dana Klein.  As I sat there witnessing the pilot I begged for something, anything to make me laugh.  I would have taken a giggle, perhaps a chuckle, but no.  I was treated to parents that could not leave their child alone for a second and a nitwit that moved in next door to his parents!   I found myself yelling “make it stop”.  Odds of me watching this heap of garbage?  About the same as me attending a Neil Diamond concert.

Did you notice I made it through without swearing?  Thank you.  (Hey, if I put things in parentheses do you think he’ll notice me swearing?  Let’s try it and see.  Drumpf’s approval rating is at 32%.  How the fuck is it that high?  His supporters must have a collective brain the size of a walnut)

***Okay, I have had about enough of this Sir Griffin.  I can see things in parentheses you know.  This is your final warning.***

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

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Me, Myself & I (Premieres 9/25/17) SNL’s Bobby Moynihan stars as Alex Riley. Meanwhile John Larroquette stars as the older Alex Riley while at the same time Jack Dylan Grazer stars as young Alex Riley.  Essentially it’s the life of Riley.  Young Alex as he moves to LA in 1991, middle aged Alex in present day as he deals with the end of his marriage and older Alex in the year 2042.  I don’t know if I should admit this or not, but I loved the pilot.  I liked the characters, I liked to story telling and I liked seeing Alex at three stages of life.  It was funny and looked to me like something a little more unique and different than the standard “I live next door to my parents” routine.  I’ll be watching this one for sure.

Seal Team (Premieres 9/27/17) – Let’s guess what this is about.  I’ll give you three choices:

  1. A group of Harbor seal pups witness a horrific event and decide that they need to team up to fight crime.
  2. This drama explores the lives of four women that work together sealing envelopes at Valpak.  Love, deception and envelope glue bond these ladies.
  3. America!  Fuck Yeah!

***I was going to berate Sir Griffin here, but that made me laugh.  Please continue***

Before you start send cards and letters I already know that Seal should be in all caps, but I didn’t want to do that so there.  In any case the answer is number three as this show chronicles an elite unit of really macho dudes as they shove the American flag down your throat and then blow shit up.

***Okay, I’ll let that one slide too.  However Sir Griffin, please remember that you are now on Double Secret Probation***

Look, there is an audience for this sort of drivel, but it is definitely not me.  I have never understood the whole nationalism phenomenon, even for my native UK.  I don’t get all the flag waving and the thought that any one country is more blessed by an omnipotent being than any other.  It’s just not something that I think about.  Odds of me watching this show that stars David Boreanaz (who will forever be Angel to me) 0.00000000000

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Young Sheldon (Premieres 11/2/17) – This show is getting a lot of hate and negative feedback from the internet trolls and I have no idea why.  I love The Big Bang Theory. I’ve seen every episode multiple times and I just cannot get enough of it.  This is obviously the story of Sheldon Cooper growing up in Texas with his, presumably, wacky family.  I have not seen the pilot in full, however I have absolutely loved what I have seen thus far. It’s funny, it’s sweet and it is everything you want in a comedy.  I think it was a stroke of brilliance to get Zoe Perry to play Sheldon’s mother as Zoe’s real mother, Laurie Metcalf, plays Sheldon’s mother on TBBT.  Add in the wonderful Annie Potts as Sheldon’s beloved Meemaw and you have a winner.  I don’t care what the trolls say about anything.  Screw you trolls!  Odds of me watching?  100% (FYI: this show has a special preview episode airing on 9/25/17)

SWAT – (Premieres 11/2/17) – Again, before you start bitching at me for not including the periods please know that I write MASH without the little asterisks and the same goes for Agents of Shield.  Those of us who grew up in the 70’s have memories of a show with the same name.  Gritty cop dramas were all the rage back then and apparently someone demanded that this one be revived.  My fondest memory of that show was the theme song.  That was awesome.,  We even played it in band.  I digress.  For you millennials out there the show is about an elite squad of…oh dear god who cares?  I didn’t like the show in the 70’s, I didn’t like the movie they made from the show in 2003 and I am probably not going to like this one either.  Let me break it down as simply as possible; police, Los Angeles, crime, bad guys lose, good guys win.  Oh and throw in some tearjerker moments as that is always a possibility with a kid getting shot.  Odds of me watching?  About the same as me becoming an envelope licker at Valpak.

Now I had to debate whether or not to include Star Trek: Discovery on this list. The show will premiere on CBS on 9/24/17, however after that all subsequent episodes will be available on CBS All Access.  This is, more than likely, the show I am most excited about for this fall.  But seeing that it will only be available on a streaming service and one must pay for the right to see it I will not include it.  Brilliant move by the greedy bastards at CBS, but will it work?  They are not releasing all the episodes for streaming at the same time, but rather on a weekly basis so binging it is kind of out of the question.  Although, could one get CBS All Access in December after the first half of the season has streamed and then binge?  I can’t answer that question.  It certainly makes sense, but we all know how greed works.

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So that is the CBS fall schedule.  Please also note that the comedy By the Book was not featured as it has no set premiere date.

Thank you Sir Griffin for your always amazing insights.  I am going to give Sir Griffin a day or two to consider his foul language and whether or not it is appropriate.  Based on the letters we have received thus far, my readers want an increase in foul language.  I’ll see what I can do.

Namaste

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Responses

  1. “Double secret probation.” Hee hee hee! I am okay with Sir Griffin’s potty mouth.

    • I’ve gotten a lot of good feedback on Sir Griffin’s foul language.


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