Posted by: lylescott89 | September 11, 2018

Sir Griffin Looks at the Fall TV Schedule: The CW

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Hey kids,

Sir Griffin is back for his second installment, this time looking at the fall offerings from The CW.  Now, as we all know, The CW stands for The Crazy Wackadoodle Network since their shows are often on the odder side of wonky.  Still, they have had some fine programming in the past and I am sure Sir Griffin is ready to tell us all about the new shows without being profane.  Isn’t that correct Sir Griffin?

Yes Claude, that sure the fuck is correct.

Damn you Sir Griffin!  Please proceed…cautiously.

I decided to go with The CW today for a couple of reasons; neither of which I can remember at this time.  No, one is because I don’t watch much of anything on The CW at all and two, because we once again have only three shows to think about.

Speaking of The CW shows I do watch, I absolutely love Riverdale.  Yes, I am secretly a 17 year old girl.  But seriously the show is just darn fun.  It’s a hot mess at times and often makes no sense, however all I need to tell you is this; Betty, Veronica, Josie and Cheryl. Right there you have me hooked, but the show is marvelous and silly fun.  The other show I watch is iZombie.  Now, iZombie was really good for the first few seasons, but this past season was frankly, not impressive in the least.  I liked the show a lot better when no one really had any clue about zombies, but now that everyone knows and Seattle is isolated, it’s just not the same.  Still, I have invested this much time and I want to see how it ends so I continue to watch.  So what will be new this season?  Let’s take a look.

allamerican

All American – I have to say I love your American football.  The NFL is fun to watch and I have enjoyed your college football as well.  I was watching the Chicago Bears play the Green Bay Packers the other night and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Oddly enough I saw a commercial during the game (I forget what the hell it was for) where these women (and maybe a guy, who knows) were on their knees kissing bricks.  What the fuck ladies?

Okay Sir Griffin, you have been doing so well.  Please keep it clean and get off your tangent and talk about the show.

My apologies Timmy.  You all have very odd traditions.  In any case I was not at all impressed with this show.  A few years ago there was a show about the first female MLB player and I was very excited to watch, but it sucked.  There was once a critically acclaimed show about high school football called Friday Night Lights that bored me to tears.  I thought it was shitty.  (Watch it!)  This show appears to be about a very talented and arrogant high school football player that leaves his own school to go play at a school in Beverly Hills.  Why exactly?  Well I suppose because they can recruit and also because it’s allegedly a safer place, but what about the players left behind?  Don’t they deserve a safer place to play?  What is the coach at Beverly Hills saying exactly?  Come here and play in a safe environment and your old teammates can go fuck themselves.

Stop it, stop it, stop it now.  I think you have missed the whole concept of keeping it clean.  Please continue.

So the guy goes to the school with the most beautiful high school students in the history of high schools.  I understand that Riverdale is filled with good looking kids and so is 13 Reasons Why, for the most part, but the average high school is not like this at all.  I went to high school and at best, 10% of the student population was attractive.  (No offense Sheffield Academy of Whales, and yes, I spelled that correctly) In this show 100% of the students are beautiful and all of the parents appear beautiful as well.  My friend’s parents were not good looking in the least (no offense)  This show does not look like anything special and not worth my time.  Chances of me watching?  About the same as me becoming an all American in any sport.  (Premieres October 10th)

legacies

Legacies – This show is a spinoff of The Originals, which I have never seen.  The Originals was itself a spinoff of The Vampire Diaries, which I have also never seen.  So what exactly is this show about?  Well there is some shit about this girl named Hope who is the tribrid daughter of some dumbfuck couple which means she is part werewolf, witch and vampire.  Oh who the fuck gets drunk off their ass and thinks up shit like this?

SIR GRIFFIN!  I am warning you for the final time today.  BEHAVE!

Sorry Leonard, but I am so damned sick of vampires I could milk a cow, feed some chickens and slop a damned pig whatever the hell that means.  Oh dear god farm work?  This TV show is making me do farm work?  Egads?  No fucking way in Tunisia am I watching this side of beefshit.  (Premieres October 25th)

Dear readers, please, please, please forgive me and Sir Griffin for his outburst.  I know he is horribly upset when he threatens to do some sort of farm work.  Sir Griffin has never actually been on a farm before and he has no idea what he is talking about when it comes to combines, herbicides or cows.  Not that he mentioned combines or herbicides, but I have no idea what the hell those things are either, but I have heard of them.  And please Sir Griffin, the final program…

Charmed-Reboot-The-CW-2018-800x500

Charmed – This is a reboot of the WB series of the same name that ran from 1998 – 2006.  I was not a regular viewer of that show, but I did watch it occasionally.  Based on the previews I have seen this is basically the same concept; the three sisters find out they are “the charmed ones” and with that they have the “power of three” and I am just loving using quotes so I am going to do that randomly as opposed to swearing “goddamnit”.  Anyway, they use the “powers of three” in order to vanquish “supernatural demons”.  The show has gotten a tad bit of backlash, specifically from “Holly Marie Combs” who was an “original” cast member from the “original” show.  Non-original cast member “Rose McGowan” was positive towards the reboot as was original “cast member” Shannen Doherty, though “Doherty” did take some issue with the CW referring to “it” as a feminist “reboot”.  In any case, the “preview” was fairly entertaining and I liked “the” cast.  I “may” give it a “try” if for no other reason than to piss off Holly “Marie” Combs.  Chances of me watching?  About 50%.  (Premieres October 14th, which we all know as the greatest day “of” the entire “year”)

Back to you Franklin!

Thank you Sir Griffin.  We will be back again with more.  Thanks for reading!

Namaste

 

 

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Responses

  1. It appears as if the CW will continue to be a mystery to me. Will we be getting a review of your returning favorites, Sir Potty Mouth?

    • Oh dear god I hope not.

      • Perhaps just a list of your returning favorites?

      • Perhaps.


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